If you’re a hedonist, this year’s Grammy Award show rocked! For starters, last year Madonna, dressed like a cowboy, officiated a gay wedding; she showed up this year wearing a Granny-ass hammock and not much else.
An aging Angus Young in his traditional schoolboy outfit helped open the worship service with AC/DC’s very fitting “Highway to Hell” anthem. Then, not to be outdone, Hozier and an embarrassingly enthusiastic Annie Lenox, before segueing into “I Put a Spell on You,” sang the disturbing ode to gay sex, “Take Me to Church.”
When the Sovereign Queen Beyoncé won a Grammy for her song “Drunk in Love”, which features the lyrics “I’ve been drinking, get filthy when that liquor get into me,” and “Last thing I remember is our beautiful bodies grinding up in the club,” she thanked God in her acceptance speech.
Sam “Stay With Me” Smith, the openly gay Brit and Boy George of 2015, ruled the night, winning four Grammys. Accepting the record of the year trophy, Sam said “I want to thank the man who this record is about, who I fell in love with last year. Thank you so much for breaking my heart because you got me four Grammys.” Then he sang with Mary K. Blige.
Don’t get me wrong, there were some not-too-objectionable things going on, such as Kanye and Kim dressed in Jean Paul Gaultier on the red carpet, discussing West’s Yeezy Boost sneakers. Kanye promised that, at $300 a pop, the footwear would address classism.
L.L. Cool J hosted, and there was the high-spirited exhibitionist Taylor Swift dancing with such obnoxious abandon it’s easy to understand why the girl has trouble getting a date.
John Legend and his irritating wife model Chrissy Teigen, who admitted on the red carpet that they once had sex at an Obama event, were mouthing the lyrics to songs they clearly didn’t know.
Gwen Stefani and Adam Levine did an elegant duet, and the always “Happy” Mr. Pharrell Williams and his canary yellow sneakers livened up the show.
The singer-songwriter, rapper, record producer, and fashion designer seems like a nice enough guy. But when did Pharrell, who seems happily unaware that, thanks to Barack Obama, most of America is unhappy, trade his signature Royal Canadian Mounties hat for shorts?
Speaking of #ItsonBarackObama, he appeared via video to give a public service message to America about rape and domestic abuse with his #Itsonus campaign. Barack’s the guy who’s fine with women being genitally mutilated, married off at nine years-old, beheaded, shot, burned, stoned, and above all aborted – just don’t hit ’em! Not to mention his being unperturbed about the looming prospect of Iran acquiring a nuke and blowing the state of Israel off the map.
Dressed in white, pastor’s daughter Katy Perry backed her hero up. Katy, the girl who was wearing devil’s horns and flashing the satanic salute during AC/DC’s performance, sang “By the Grace of God,” a ballad supposedly about domestic violence.
And all this took place as the violent, misogynist ode to sadomasochistic sex, “50 Shades of Grey,” is about to hit the big screen. The movie’s soundtrack includes songs by Beyoncé, Annie Lennox, and Sia in a ginormous white wig, all of whom were featured at the same Grammy Awards show that spent an inordinate amount of energy denouncing violence against women.
Disregarding old men being abused by young women, Jessie J, dressed in a see-thru black fishing net, sang “You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feeling” to Tom ‘Cialis’ Jones, and Lady Gaga, who left her meat dress home, sang standards while rubbing her ample décolletage on a delighted 88 year-old Tony Bennett.
Other Grammy 2015 highlights included Sir Paul McCartney looking out of place, strumming his guitar with no mic and watching as Kanye adjusted his droopy drawers, and Rihanna, sans a Chris Brown-administered black eye, bounced around the stage singing “FourFiveSeconds.”
Stevie Wonder got a standing ovation he had no clue he was receiving, and an aging Prince, dressed in an orange-is-the-new-black jumpsuit, made a curious reference to the late Michael Brown of Ferguson, Missouri fame, saying, “Albums still matter. Like books and black lives, albums still matter.”
Clearly, Prince didn’t think through his wardrobe choice. Either that or he was unaware that if Michael had managed to steal Darren Wilson’s gun and shoot the police officer, a similar outfit is what Mr. Brown would be wearing in jail.
The show included lots of hoodies and ignorant “hands up” protest references, but not one mention of the two NYPD officers blown away in their police cruiser by Ismaayil Brinsley.
The decrepit diva attempted to relive the 1980s with a horde of horned men and did an embarrassingly clumsy number that looked more like she was auditioning for a Tena pad commercial than performing on the Grammys.
An out-of-place looking Beck, who beat Beyoncé by winning album of the year, was publicly dissed by Kanye and sang with Gwyneth Paltrow’s ex-husband Chris Martin.
Gwyneth, who refuses to be upstaged, dragged her girly parts away from her steam-cleaning machine long enough to introduce her “beautiful friend” Beyoncé, who went from being “drunk in love” to singing the sober Gospel song “Take My Hand Precious Lord.”
Beyoncé took to the stage in all her majestic glory to prove to the world that she, not Ledisi, should have played Mahalia Jackson in the movie Selma.
Wrapping up, country superstar Miranda Lambert cursed and was censored while singing “Little Red Wagon,” Nicole Kidman still can’t move her face, and the 2014 dead people slide show touched many hearts. But more importantly, for degenerates, gay rights activists, Obama fanatics, and cop-killer sympathizers, as always, this year’s Grammy Awards show really delivered.