Michelle turned 53. Have you picked out a gift for her yet?
What does one GIVE an Outgoing
autocratic queen First Lady who has been an obnoxious, ungrateful, freeloading pain in the ass served faithfully beside her husband these last eight years?
Well, she’s a big Oprah fan, and she can’t stop talking about slavery. How about a VHS copy of ROOTS. Why VHS? Becuase she loves living in the past.
Speaking of past, we could give her a ‘retro’ food chopper. She likes those fancy foods. And we’d like to remind her of simpler times when excesses like hers would have been dealt with a little more … directly.
She cares so much about nutrition and what kids are eating these days. How about a special meal?
It’s her favorite. It’s what she forced all the kids to eat.
Maybe we could even let them keep a few of the curtains, so her favorite designer can keep her covered up.
Of course, a birthday celebration isn’t complete without cake. Since it’s cake, so you know she’ll share it with the commoners ‘let them eat cake’, right?
Maybe a scrapbook with some candid photos of her time in Washington:
Here she is doing one of her favorite things — lecturing Americans!
Her ‘fashion sense’ on display.
Her ‘sparkling personality’.
A kind, gentle First Lady.
Here she’s going for a hike in the woods.
When are you leaving? Oh, that soon?