Citing a study from a team of Princeton researchers, the Daily Mail reports that people prepare for hurricanes differently based on whether they are named after a male or female. If it’s a name like Andrew or (even scarier) Ivan, then batten down the hatches. But, if it’s Katrina, <
Turns out that, despite a thousand Hollywood films depicting women warriors whipping up on men, despite the enforcement of politically correct doctrine which assures us that women are fit for combat, despite all of the denials of reality, people still realize that men are bigger, stronger, faster, and fiercer than women. I know it. You know it. He knows it and so does she.
Sex differences are so axiomatic they actually encourage people to project strength or weakness based on male and female labels. The researchers predicted that changing a hurricane’s name from Charlie to Eloise could triple the death toll.
Now, we’ve got a problem; what should we do about it? Here’s where the difference between conservatives (i.e., realists) and leftists (i.e., dreamers) appears. The conservative solution is to name all hurricanes–at least the biggest, baddest ones–after men like “Frank,” “Vladimir, and “Clint.” Save some lives, why don’t we? And do it the easy way.
The leftist “solution” is, according to the story, to “educate the public on gender biases.” (You are rolling your eyes; don’t feel bad about that.) Sharon Shavitt, co-author of the study, laments the widespread sexism revealed in the study. No Sharon, the study doesn’t show sexism. It shows that no matter how hard you try to turn reality up-side-down, it’s like that old weeble that wobbles. There it is, back on its feet, staring us in the face.
We all know where this is going. Nowhere, that is. Nothing will change when it comes to naming hurricanes. For every Pete there will be a Sally. To make ourselves feel better about doing nothing, we’ll educate the public that their moms were just as strong as their dads and that they should be ashamed for thinking otherwise. We’ll tell everyone that women could be linebackers in the NFL, but they just don’t happen to be interested. Maybe then people will start following evacuation orders.
We’ll keep naming hurricanes after women because, even though our friends and neighbors might die, we’ve got to keep it fair. If you think people being impaled by flying 2x4s and children floating facedown in swirling floodwaters are tragic, just imagine how unfortunate it would be if women lost out on the opportunity to have hurricanes named after them.