Weapons-Grade Stupid: The State Supports ‘Sanctuary Cities’ But Will Lock You Away For This Dumb Thing

Written by Michael Cummings on January 27, 2018

When a state makes laws too difficult to follow, or the rationale behind that state’s laws is so stupid it comes with its own eye roll, it’s time to replace your current flock of elected representatives.

If this bill becomes law, a waiter or waitress at a sit-down restaurant in California will face a $1,000 fine and up to six (6) months in jail if you order a drink and he gives you a straw unsolicited.

A straw. For your drink. Jail time.

” ‘We need to create awareness around the issue of one-time use plastic straws and its detrimental effects on our landfills, waterways, and oceans,’ [California Democrat Majority Leader Ian] Calderon explained in a press release.”

Were the straws a choking hazard for toddlers? Did a turtle accidentally hang himself with one? Did a gang of 7-year-olds paint the urinals in a restaurant bathroom with spitballs?

Nope. This is a proposal by the Democrat majority leader, not some wayward representative in a deserted district in the darkest corner of the golden state. And he is basing this bill on data gleaned from a 9-year old boy:

Eco-Cycle is unable to provide any data to back up this number, telling Reason that it was relying on the research of one Milo Cress. Cress—whose Be Straw Free Campaign is hosted on Eco-Cycle’s website—tells Reason that he arrived at the 500 million straws a day figure from phone surveys he conducted of straw manufacturers in 2011, when he was just 9 years old.

Calderon, the Democratic majority leader in California’s lower house, has introduced a bill to stop sit-down restaurants from offering customers straws with their beverages unless they specifically request one. Under Calderon’s law, a waiter who serves a drink with an unrequested straw in it would face up to 6 months in jail and a fine of up to $1,000.

“We need to create awareness around the issue of one-time use plastic straws and its detrimental effects on our landfills, waterways, and oceans,” Calderon explained in a press release.

This isn’t just Calderon’s crusade. The California cities of San Luis Obispo and Davis both passed straws-on-request laws last year, and Manhattan Beach maintains a prohibition on all disposable plastics. And up in Seattle, food service businesses won’t be allowed to offer plastic straws or utensils as of July.

The Los Angeles Times has gotten behind the movement, endorsing straws-on-request policies in an editorial that also warned that “repetitive sucking may cause or exacerbate wrinkles on the lips or around the mouth.” Celebrity astronomer Neil DeGrasse Tyson (always up for a little chiding) and Entourage star Adrian Grenier have appeared in videos where an octopus slaps them in the face for using a plastic straw.

Hard to believe more Californians are becoming Texans, Floridians, and Nevadans. This, among near-countless other Democrat initiatives, proves how much contempt politicians have for the people they are supposed to serve, and I can’t help but wonder what will happen when the people are gone, the tax base dries up, and the money runs out.

The pitchforks are out.

photo credit: wuestenigel Cocktails am Pool via photopin (license)

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Michael Cummings
Michael A. Cummings has a Bachelors in Business Management from St. John's University in Collegeville, MN, and a Masters in Rhetoric & Composition from Northern Arizona University. He has worked as a department store Loss Prevention Officer, bank auditor, textbook store manager, Chinese food delivery man, and technology salesman. Cummings wrote position pieces for the 2010 Trevor Drown for US Senate (AR) and 2012 Joe Coors for Congress (CO) campaigns.