Pigskin Pundit’s Picks, Week 17

Written by Nathan Clark on December 28, 2019

‘Well, here we are at the end of all things’, as Frodo Baggins said to Sam Gamgee in The Lord of The Rings.  And yet, there are still TWO division titles in the NFC that aren’t decided yet, and a handful of scenarios whereby teams either lock in or are locked out of the post-season.  Not to mention who is playing Wild Card weekend and who is ‘bying’ time to heal & rest up.  It has been a wild ride to Wild Card week, as my crazy 9-7 from last week shows.  I’m at 148-91 for the year.  Hope you did better!  Here are the picks.
Chargers at Chiefs – Andy Reid can’t rest his troops this week, as there is a chance (slim) that if he wins, he won’t have to play next week.  The Bolts would love to ensure that the Chiefs HAVE to play Wildcard weekend, even if they won’t be.  Chiefs channel Len Dawson as Arrowhead rocks one more time.
Jets at Bills – Buffalo doesn’t need a win this week, but they are a proud team and finishing well gets them better seeding & more valuable experience for their young gun under center.  The Jets have talent, but Gace is proving to be a mistake as head coach choice again and they are chasing their tails.  Bills ground the Jets, and erase Gace.
Saints at Panthers – New Orleans doesn’t need the win here, but if they want a week off with pay, they will put enough out there to quash the Carolina Kitties.  Expect Mr. Bridge-over-troubled-water to get some snaps, maybe all of them.  Saints neuter the stray cats.
Packers at Lions – This game could well be Matt Patricia’s last at the helm of the toothless Lions.  Enough already, rinse and repeat in Detroit.  Packers lock down the bye, by saying bye to Lyin’s.
Browns at Bengals – What if they held a Battle of Ohio, and nobody came?  In this meaningless pitch between two disappointments, I’ll take Cleveland….because technically…they’re better.  On paper.  Horrible.
Dolphins at Patriots – I am so glad to be wrong about last week’s Pats-Bills result.  Somehow the Patriots conjured up a Christmas miracle and found some offense to put the Bills away, for now.  This week they face Fitzmagic and his NFL record-holding catapult arm (ONLY qb ever to throw a 4-td game for 5 different teams).  He won’t do it this week, as the Pats need to buy a bye and heal up (especially Edelman).  Minutemen maul Miami.
Falcons at Bucs – Nothing to be determined here, and either team can really win this game.  I think the Falcons are out to prove that they aren’t to be taken lightly anymore, and want to finish the year heading back in the right direction.  Falcons eat the Pirates’ parrots.  No Yarr, just Yarak (look it up).
Bears at Vikings – Mike Zimmer can’t really improve his standing in the playoffs appreciably, so a win changes little to nothing.  However, nobody wants to go into WCW off a loss to a lousy team.  Vikes end Bear season with another trophy.
Cardinals at Rams – Wow, the Cards pulled a rabbit out of their hat in Seattle last week!  In another ‘doesn’t matter’ game, the Scrams should hold serve at home.
Raiders at Broncos – The Wrongcos have been up and down this year, but Las Oaklas IS a better team.  I think they gasp out a win in the thin air of Denver.
Redskins at Cowboys – Cowboys and Indians reboot.  Jason Garrett ain’t no Pat Garrett, but Dallas should be able to shoot their way out of town by double-digits.
Titans at Texans – O Tannehill has been comeback player of the year in my book, but I think they are still going to wind up on the outside looking in this playoff season.  Houston rockets into the playoffs on another win.
Steelers at Ravens – The Ravens starters will be roosting in this game, and Pittsburgh does NOT want to miss their shot at a wildcard berth.  Steelers bolt down a win and they’re in.
Colts at Jaguars – Indy needs a win just to finish this very tumultuous year of surprises on an upbeat note.  The Jags?  Some firings are probably due here.  Colts leave the Jaguars ‘spotless’.
Eagles at Giants – The Feebles are barely trying to squeak out a win-you’re-in scenario here.  Anyone who thinks the Giants are going to play like midgets hasn’t been watching them.  They can score.  This is no walkover for Philly – they will earn a narrow win to clinch this weekend.
Niners at Seahawks – This is the BIG ONE!  The Squawks are NOT invincible at home, as the Cardinals proved when they flew into town.  Kittle in the middle will hurt you quite a little.  Prospectors strike gold in the northwest.
Enjoy this last week of the regular season.  Happy New Year!
-Pigskin Pundit
Nathan Clark is a conservative commentator who resides with his wife in New Hampshire. He is passionate about preserving the vision of our nation's Founders and advancing those tried and true principles deep into America's future. His interests range broadly from flyfishing, cooking and shooting to pro sports, gardening, live music and fine-scale modeling.