Here’s A Version Of The Lord’s Prayer That Woke Churches Might Like…

Written by Allan Erickson on July 10, 2023

Recently, the Archbishop of York, Stephen Cottrell, said that the opening of the Lord’s Prayer may be “problematic” because it begins with “Our Father.”

The archbishop of York has suggested that opening words of the Lord’s Prayer, recited by Christians all over the world for 2,000 years, may be “problematic” because of their patriarchal association.
In his opening address to a meeting of the Church of England’s ruling body, the General Synod, Stephen Cottrell dwelt on the words “Our Father”, the start of the prayer based on Matthew 6:9–13 and Luke 11:2–4 in the New Testament.
“I know the word ‘father’ is problematic for those whose experience of earthly fathers has been destructive and abusive, and for all of us who have laboured rather too much from an oppressively patriarchal grip on life,” he said.
Source: The Guardian

To please the Archbishop of York, we offer the following modernized version of the Lord’s Prayer so as not to offend, or inspire:

Our spiritual parental unit, who lives somewhere over the rainbow, Hollow is Thy name. Your queendom come. Your non-binary will be sung, on earth, as it is in the ether. Lavish us this day our daily food stamps, and affirm our trespasses, as we affirm all trespass. And lead us not into patriarchy, but help us celebrate temptation, for Thine is the bedlam and the mayhem, and the story hour, forever.

The real deal:

Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom and the power, and the glory,
forever and ever.

Allan Erickson
Allan Erickson---Christian, husband, father, journalist, businessman, screenwriter, and author of The Cross & the Constitution in the Age of Incoherence, Tate Publishing, 2012.