PIGSKIN PUNDIT’S PICKS: DIVISIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS 2026
After a too-long absence, we're happy to say his wit and wisdom is back for another week.
Well, I really am back, after going 83% last weekend (whiffed on the Feebles loss to San Fran-sicko). Before we jump into the Divvy finals, let’s speculate a hot minute on landing zones for the plethora of coaches now collecting unemployment checks. Top coach is clearly John Harbaugh, who (if he is as smart as I have always thought him to be) will only consider the openings in NYC, Pittsburgh and Atlanta. The Giants are ‘the big stage’ in the NFL and a well-owned team. They have quite a few pieces in place, and with strong leadership can move up quickly as Dallas, Philly and DC decline. The Rooneys in Pittsburgh have put a quality challenger on the field as long as I can remember, and if they have down years, it’s never for more than a season and they ALWAYS have a feisty defense. Classy organization. Atlanta is owned by Orange Man Good who is anxious for success, has some very solid talent at the key positions, and could own his weak division for a long time to come, with good coaching.
Mike McDaniel is probably second among the fireds, although I’m unimpressed with Miami’s decline under him with essentially the same talent he started with. I could see him going to Arizona or Tennessee. Not sure who else would want him just yet. Brian Daboll will probably land in Cleveland or Miami, and Stefanski could find himself behind Raybans in Florida as well. The plum job of Ravens head coach is the big mystery, as Harbaugh left big shoes to fill and a unique QB to manage. The Vikings’ Brian Flores needs a head coaching job, as he is a proven commodity and had Miami playing well when he got fired for ‘not being the new owner’s pick’ for HC. Proof once more that NFL owners are known for their big checkbooks and very small brains. I hope Flores gets a shot at either Pittsburgh or Baltimore. Any coach with two or more active brain cells will steer clear of Mark Davis and his ‘graveyard of head coaches’ Raiders. Okay, on to the picks!
BILLS AT BRONCOS
Bye weeks are a blessing and a curse. You get to rest up and heal, which is nice after months of combat. You get to see what your opponent is doing lately, which is strategically advantageous. You get to play at home, which in Denver’s case is an actual physical advantage. But here’s where it sours a bit. While all the other warriors are out the week before sharpening their combat skills in the red rage of battle, gaining confidence and focus….you are sitting at home, possibly losing your edge. The Broncos are also an unproven playoff Cinderella, so nobody including Denver really knows what they are made of. They don’t call this the Second Season for nothing…just ask the Rams, who barely skated past the 8-9 Panthers.
Buffalo just vanquished a solid opponent on the road, proving once again they’re trench-triumphant troopers. Josh Allen is the most dangerous QB in football this season, and Bo Nix is surely not. Defense does win championships and Denver has a fierce one, but somebody has to eventually score points for the Mile High Flying Circus, because the Bills don’t go away and you can’t count on enough pick-sixes to salt a win away against this relentless offense. This is tough to call because neither I nor anyone else really knows how good Denver is. I think Buffalo can handle the sack-happy Broncs with Allen’s mobility, and in almost every stat category the Bills are better, including INTs. Sean Peyton is clearly the smarter coach and a real factor in this game, as I have long been critical of McDermott’s late-game calls. So…Josh Allen channels Marcus Allen and Nixes Bo while the Cooks Brothers (James & Brandon) make things too hot in the kitchen for the Orange Slush.
49ERS AT SEAHAWKS
The Niners showed up in Philly, proving me wrong. Actually, the Smeagles didn’t show up, thereby losing their Preciousss rings of power. Apparently somebody cracked their bell, and they were too upset about it to focus on good football. That game was costly though, with Kittle fallen in battle.
The Squawks and Niners line up startlingly similar in stats (literally tied for yardage per game at 351.4), except for the ones that matter most. Seattle’s defense is nasty, and the Niners’ is ‘lasty’ in sacks and wimpy in picks, and those factors will be ever more poignant now that Kittle ain’t fit as a fiddle. I’m not going to overthink this one. Darn old Darnold avoids the yips while he rips the Prospectors and persecutes Christian in a spectacle that isn’t Purdy. Gold may be a solid investment right now, but this noble-but-crippled team from the City by the Bay will be sitting by the Bay after Saturday.
TEXANS AT PATRIOTS
I read the NFL ‘expert’s’ take on this game, and he picked the Texans for some good reasons. They are a very, very good defense. What he failed to acknowledge is the impotence of their offense, that for over three quarters last week against the Steeler defense failed to generate more than 7 pts. That game was a blowout in score only, at the very last part of the match. Had Pittsburgh generated even one touchdown in that game, it would have potentially put game-changing pressure on CJ Stroud. It looks as though Christian ‘NoGo’ Gonzales will play Sunday, and if he is in any way the same player as last week when he disappeared Keenan Allen for 60 minutes, the New England Secondary will suck all the air out of Gillette Stadium. The Texans are really good at taking the ball away….but then you have to DO something with it, where they aren’t so great. If the Patriots protect the football (something they do well), that will erase a lot of Houston’s defensive advantage. Rhamondre Stevenson has great hands and a Detriot Diesel motor pumping those pistons of his, Hunter Henry has sticky mitts and a good eye for open seams, and Boutte-call and Diggs will find holes in that D they can exploit.
Stroud has 1400 fewer passing yards and 12 less td’s than Maye. Unless his defensive pass rushers get to Drake and throw him off his game consistently, the Pats balance out Houston’s edge in other aspects of the game. If New England gets home on Stroud enough, which is quite possible with their shutdown Secondary, I like our chances to hold the fort. And let’s not forget the NFL’s #1 punt returner, Marcus ‘Meandmisses’ Jones…A furious battle with Houston cattle, but at the end it’s Flying Elvis that has the stars in his eyes.
RAMS AT BEARS
Boy, it is really hard to pick against Los Angeles. Even though they had all they could do to escape the clutches of the Panthers last week, they had enough. They played like seasoned pro’s, which is what many of them are. This is not the same team that won a few years back, but they have a proven core built around Matthew Stafford, who if he were a vehicle would be your Uncle Bert’s trusty Ford F150 with 135,000 miles on it…rock solid, but well-traveled and ready for another ‘hunnert thou’. Stafford is probably the key to this match, especially if Chicago pulls another heart-attack style game with lots of late lightning strike scoring. Staffie doesn’t lose his head, he just buckles in and gets the points he needs. Nacua gives him a fitting replacement for Cooper Cupp, and in the tradition of Aaron Donald, Jack Youngblood & Fred ‘Hunter’ Dryer, this current iteration of defensive linemen is ranked 7th in sacks and can Ram the opposing QB into next week. Caleb Williams, for all his athleticism and youthful resilience, will have a long evening of avoiding the murderous grasp of these ruffians as he looks downfield. And how could you lose with a made-for-the-movies player name like Stetson Bennett IV? These guys are Hollywood all the way.
Chicago is a lightning-in-a-bottle style of team this year, which is taking nothing away from their ability to slap a bunch of points on the board in a hurry and turn a game upside down. However, this is the division finals against a mature opponent who also can come back and find the endzone in late innings, marshaled by a very smart Super Bowl-winning coach. The new Monsters of the Midway play rough…but the Hollywood heroes are Ram-tough. Staffie pokes the Bear, and lives.
Enjoy the games!
-PP
