When I started this series of articles, I mentioned that I believe the Church has lost her moral authority because of our apathy; because of our unwillingness to do what the Scriptures have commanded us to do, and, ultimately, let’s not forget, because of our own hypocrisy.
Hypocrisy has cost us dearly in the arena of same-sex marriage. The church has viciously attacked same sex marriage with claims like same-sex marriage will destroy the idea of marriage; or it will demean the value of marriage; or it will bring confusion to our children.
As I mentioned in my first article in this series, the Bible tells us that judgment starts in the house of the Lord. We should really take a good, hard look at the things we claim same-sex marriage will destroy and then compare them to the example Christians are setting when it comes to our own marriages.
We have all heard the horror stories about how the church divorce rate is higher than the world’s divorce rate. Fortunately, that isn’t true, but our divorce rate is atrocious nonetheless.
Divorce among active church attending couples is around 40%. Where the confusion comes into play is those who claim to be Christian but rarely attend church have a higher divorce rate than those who regularly attend church. Their divorce rate is 60% compared to regular church attendees at 40% (article).
In the eyes of the world, we have by our own actions destroyed our own credibility when it comes to representing the type of marriage that Christ asked us to have. So, is one unChristlike marriage better than the other? Does one bad example of marriage confuse our children less about the sanctity that Christ wanted us to hold in our marriages?
The Bible is clear there are only a few reasons for divorce, like sexual immorality or a spouse who wants to leave his or her partner because he or she refuses to believe in Christ. I think most would add physical abuse or child abuse to that list, though the Bible doesn’t mention those.
Yet, with the Bible being so clear on what the Biblical qualifications for divorce are, we have pastors all across the country re-marrying individuals that don’t have Biblical grounds for divorce while, at the same time, they are publicly slamming same sex marriage.
Please, for a second, hear me. If you have been divorced or divorced and remarried, please understand that I don’t know you, your story, or your situation. Maybe you had Biblical grounds for the divorce, maybe you weren’t saved at the time, I don’t know. What I do know is that God’s grace is sufficient for you. Turn towards Him and give Him your struggles so that He can carry that weight.
For just a second put yourself in the position of a man or woman who is attracted to those of the same sex listening to the current message of most Christian writers, preachers, and teachers. You hear them talk about how you made this decision, you are going to hell, and that allowing you to marry will destroy the institution. Imagine that you are that person who has same-sex attraction who begins to actually look at what the church does, not what it says. You see that they divorce almost as often as those not in the church, you see the adultery, the abandonment, and the refusal to follow the Scripture in other areas of marriage. What would you think?
If we want to be able to speak to current cultural issues, we must begin to take care of our own house first. We don’t have to be perfect, but we should at least be consistent in our speech, standards, and application of our beliefs.