by Dave Daubenmire
Clash Daily Guest Contributor
It is fatherhood that is under assault in America today. We hear a lot about the war on women…but it is the war on Dads that is causing the greatest damage to the American psyche. An absent Dad leaves a vast chasm in the life of a child…one the child struggles all his/her life to fill.
Fathers have become the no deposit, no return, throw away pop bottles that I remember as a kid. An absent father is a tragedy. Nothing leaves a young child more handicapped.
Our courts do not value fatherhood. One of the rotten fruits of the feminist movement is the idea that a women is more deserving as a parent than the father is. The man often has to fight for the right to parent his own children. Many of our governmental policies lead to this scourge.
Sadly, today many Dads never get the chance to come home to their children. Weekend visits do not get the job done. Trips to the zoo or the ball game cannot fill that relationship void. New boyfriends, or live in partners only contribute to the emptiness the child often feels.
“He is not my Dad…he is just someone you sleep with!” How many mothers have felt the sting of those words? The child often becomes the football in the battle of the parents.
Our courts have expelled fathers from the life of the child. Uncle Sam is a poor replacement for a father.
A “woman’s right to choose” is another lie that has destroyed fatherhood.
As one who has spent a great deal of time outside of the abortion clinics desperately striving to rescue a child from death, I often appeal directly to the father.
“You are not a man because you can make a baby. You are a man when you can raise a baby! It is time to man up and defend your child!”
That statement always penetrates the heart of a young man and more often than not the boy will respond that it really isn’t his decision. It is his girlfriend’s choice. He doesn’t have anything to say about it he tells us as he slinks behind his girlfriend’s skirt.
Where are you Adam? God asked in Genesis 3. “The woman you gave me…” Adam passed the buck. Man has desired to shirk responsibility ever since. It is a woman’s choice…and women have done it to themselves.
The woman’s movement has produced irresponsible men. The “right to choose” has stripped the man of the right to parent the children he pays for.
Today our schools are staffed by a large majority of women. A male elementary teacher is about as common as a black Republican. Over 70% of the children born to a black mother do not live with their father; Hispanic children (55%) are close behind. And although in 1950 only 5% of Caucasian children were raised in single-parent homes the numbers today are creeping over the 40% mark.
And how do we handle the crisis? We send these fatherless children to government schools where the staff is largely female. A woman cannot fill the man-void in a young child.
An absent Daddy also damages young daughters. A Daddy is the first man that a little girl wants to please. If there is no Daddy around I promise you she will find someone to scratch her itch. Much sexual promiscuity can be linked to absent fathers.
I was co-responsible for the raising of two daughters. Even though I didn’t understand how a girl thought I was a valuable resource in helping them understand how teenage boys thought. I took it upon my self to defend their honor, protect their virtue, and build into them a sense of personal value. I was there to guide, guard, and govern them. They understood how a woman should be treated by watching how I treated their Mom.
I remember when our oldest, Abby, asked permission to go to the 8th grade dance. I inquired who the suitor was and told her that I would have to meet him.
“Please Daddy, don’t embarrass me.” She pleaded.
“Abby, I wouldn’t let him borrow my car with out meeting him and you are far more valuable to me than my car.”
“Oh, Daddy,” she blushed. The next day he was in our living room.
The real war in America is not a war on women. It is a war on men. A war on manhood.
Nothing has done more to destroy both boys and girls than the devaluation of fatherhood.
I remember decades ago watching macho man Burt Reynolds on one of his frequent appearances with Johnny Carson.
“So Burt, tell me, when is a man a man.” Johnny asked playboy Burt.
Expecting a response with off-color overtones Johnny was shocked when Burt slowly, with deep reflection replied, “You aren’t a man until your Daddy says you are a man.”
Is it any wonder that today children are still looking for the answer. There are so few Dads to show them anymore.
Despite what the feminists and the courts may try to convince us, fathers matter.
The war on fatherhood has great collateral damage.
Ask any child who didn’t have one.
That’s why God hates divorce. We should too.
Dave Daubenmire is a veteran 35 year high school football coach who was spurred to action when attacked and sued by the ACLU in the late 1990s for praying with his high school football team. After a two year battle for his 1st amendment rights, the ACLU relented and offered coach an out of court settlement.