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2012 ElectionOpinionPoliticsSocial Issues

The Philosophy of Suckers, Part One

A wise man once suggested to me that modern liberalism is equivalent to vampirism. I can’t think of a more airtight simile. Due to the lifestyles which they endorse, Leftists are discouraged from promulgating their ideology in the traditional way: by reproduction, first of a child itself and then of the intellectual foundation in the mind of this child, through the parent-child mentoring process.

And so they seek to reproduce their ideas by subverting and perverting the minds of folks who otherwise wouldn’t agree with them, by any means available. Like vampires, it is difficult to reproduce their own kind in any traditional manner, so they must “turn” others to their cause via smoke, mirrors, and dependency. To Leftist operatives, the average American child looks like a juicy, helpless Wilhelmina-burger does to a ravenous Count Dracula.

The modern liberal platform insists that no child has a right to live until its life has lasted longer than a Kardashian marriage; that a woman can end her pregnancy at any point before, during, and after the birth of the child. Heck, a woman isn’t even necessary to start a family anymore! Obviously this is technically impossible, but logical constraints are no obstacle to a fully-operational campaign of leftist social outrage.

They’re convinced that abortions-on-demand and homosexual relationships (which are categorically sterile) are the pinnacles of social achievement. Careers come before family. Sexual preference comes before family. Personal convenience comes before family. But should one get past the previously-listed priorities and still desire a family, one can be poached from “breeders” by adoption, artificial insemination, etc.

In the ranks of Leftist vampires, these faux-family succubae are small potatoes. By mimicking the traditional family model, these pretenders are seeking social approval while only offering the merest nod towards the unholy, vampiric godhead of Alinski, Sanger, and Dewey.

Since they work toward subverting the traditional definition of family, they serve as useful foot soldiers for their intellectual masters, but they are a far cry from the top of the vampiric food chain for the simple reason that it will be difficult for these unholy unions to produce many true believers, since the children whom they poach will see the true cost of the lifestyle which their “parents” have chosen. Indeed, even the mundane rebel-spirit of adolescence will work against these poachers, as their “children” will eventually seek to rebel against the ideology of their “parents”, leading them to break the spell of modern liberalism and hopefully run to the light of traditional conservative thought.

To accurately map the Who’s Who of Progressive Succubae, it is helpful to study the path which an ideology takes in order to permeate the culture at-large. As in so many instances, the brilliant mind of Francis Schaeffer is able to shed some light. In his seminal volume, The God Who is There, Schaeffer described the various steps which an ideology takes from conception to full-blown adoption.

Schaeffer’s “Line of Despair” was originally conceived to track how the disintegration of the concept of truth spread throughout Western civilization, but it’s handy for tracking bloodsuckers too. If we trace this staircase upwards, it is a simple matter to identify the heavy hitters in the Left’s Vampiric Hall of Fame.

The bottom rung in the Line of Despair contains the Theologians. Consider these guys like the wuss-bag vampires which are dumb enough to run screaming onto Blade’s katana. They’re fodder for any self-respecting stake-driver. The progressive theologians of the Left are quite literally the bottom-feeders of the movement, which is certainly no news to most of us. Despite the prominent positions of E1 vampires like Jim Wallis and the Rev’runds Jackson & Sharpton, they only serve to attract people dumb enough to go walking past the MSNBC graveyard with an exposed jugular vein.

The next step up the Line of Despair is the General Culture. As was mentioned above, these are the foot soldiers of the Left’s undead army. They do much of the heavy lifting, but little to drive the movement itself.

This is your coworker, who voted for Obama and thinks his support for infanticide will help him pull more chicks. This is your weird aunt who thinks that Ellen Degenerate is so charming and funny and her lifestyle must be equally appealing. This is the dude on your softball team who drunkenly asserts that “everybody should be able to love whom they want to love” and then validates his position by hitting on the team captain’s pre-teen daughter. The strength of these “useful idiots” is in their numbers, not the potency of their bite.

Next week, we’ll kick down the crypt doors and charge up the final 3 steps of the Left’s Hall of Succubus Fame. Same bat-time, same bat-channel.

Luke Hamilton

Luke Hamilton is classically-trained, Shakespearean actor from Eugene, Oregon who happens to be a liberty-loving, right-wing, Christian constitutionalist. When not penning columns for, Hamilton spends his time astride the Illinois-Wisconsin border, leading bands of liberty-starved citizens from the progressive gulags of Illinois to [relative] freedom. Hamilton is the creative mind/voice behind Pillar & Cloud Productions, a budding production company which resides at He owes all to his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, whose strength is perfected in his weakness.