All week long I’ve been listening to all the “experts” talk about what the Republican party did wrong to lose this last election and it scares me. How can the experts be so stupid? And why do people keep listening to them when they’re wrong so much of the time? It’s a mystery to me. I’m not a self-proclaimed expert, and I’ll be the first to tell you I don’t know what’s going to happen to our country or to the world for that matter. But I do know that everything’s all messed up and possibly even messed up beyond repair.
Despite that, I’m not about to run out and kill myself the way a man did in Key West last week after Romney lost the election. (Check it out at this site.) Okay, so we got four more years of Obama. The world’s not going to end; it’s just going to fall apart and get really yucky and hard to live in. I can handle that. I’m getting tired of all these Republicans foaming at the mouth and spouting doom and gloom yelling “The sky is falling! The sky is falling!” The sky isn’t falling; it’s just full of dark clouds, with lightning, hail, maybe some tornadoes. (Oh my. It’s happening to me too!)
It’s times like these that really get a man to thinking about what’s really important in life. Right about now my quest for a cottage on the beach, my dream of early retirement, and winning the Pulitzer Prize just don’t mean a whole lot to me. Funny how living in a world teetering on the brink of disaster can change a man.
I grew up during the height of the Cold War, living each day wondering if today would be my last. Would the Ruskies finally drop the bomb? Is thirty miles away from the big city far enough? Every once in a while I’d check the wind direction just for reassurance.
It reminds me of one of my favorite screen characters. His name is Bert Gummer played my Michael Gross in the movie series Tremors. Bert is a survivalist, always priding himself on being ready for any and all situations. In the second movie, Tremors II Aftershocks, Bert Gummer and Earl Bassett travel to Mexico as mercenaries on the mother of all graboid hunts. (Graboids are giant precambrian worms who like to feed on human flesh. Kind of like prehistoric democrats with big teeth and insatiable appetites.) After blowing up an oil refinery to kill a dozen or so of the beasts, Bert is heard to say, “Ya know, Grady. Some people think I’m overprepared. Paranoid. Maybe even a little crazy. But they never met any Precambrian life forms did they.”
Nope. I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow or even the day after that. Will Obama and Congress push us off the fiscal cliff? Will another superstorm wipe out the East Coast? Will Jeffrey Dahmer become a vegetarian? These questions – they vex me – but I just don’t know.
The morning after the election, my oldest daughter, distraught over the re-election of President Obama, sent me this short and to-the-point text message: “So Obama won. What do we do now?”
I sent her a text back immediately: “We keep working, raising our kids, loving our God and our mates.”
In retrospect, I think I gave her pretty good advice. Beats the hell out of killing yourself. But, in the meantime, you can all call me Bert Gummer, paranoid, and maybe even a little bit crazy, because I’m stepping up my plans to become over-prepared. It can’t hurt. Just in case the sky does fall.
One thing we all need to remember: It’s not the end of the world (yet) and the important things in life still apply and give our lives meaning. I can be happy even with a narcissistic, anti-American socialist in the White House. All I really need to keep me happy is a relationship with God, a bunch of guns, and the love of a really good woman. Life is good. I got it all.
Skip Coryell is the author of eight books including “Blood in the Streets: Concealed Carry and the OK Corral, RKBA: Defending the Right to Keep and Bear Arms, The God Virus, and We Hold These Truths. He is the founder of The Second Amendment March, a Marine Corps veteran, and the President of White Feather Press.