John Q Citizen Puts Some Q’s to the President

Written by Allan Erickson on February 2, 2013

MH900078622John Q Citizen: What is your jobs plan, Mr. President?

BHO: Government spending gives people money to spend which creates demand and jobs.
John Q Citizen: But it isn’t working.

BHO: Well, the Republicans wouldn’t pass my jobs plan.

John Q Citizen: But you got everything you wanted in the first two years.

BHO: Boehner won’t play ball.

John Q Citizen: How about a budget and a plan to deal with debt and deficits?

BHO: I have a plan.

John Q Citizen: What is it?

BHO: Check with Biden, Geithner, Axelrod and Valerie.

John Q Citizen: How about cutting spending? Everybody agrees that’s out of control.

BHO: Won’t do it. It’ll hurt the economy and jobs.

John Q Citizen: But the spending is what’s killing the economy.

BHO: We have to spread the wealth, make the rich pay their fair share, close the loop holes and clamp down on Wall Street.

John Q Citizen: When did spreading the wealth ever work, anywhere? Your best friends are on Wall Street.

BHO: You’re not hearing me. I was elected to transform this country. I have a mandate. People are entitled to get what I give them so long as they vote the right way.

John Q Citizen: But seven million people turned against you compared to 2008. How is that a mandate?

BHO: The People love me. My people. The other people don’t matter. Are you a teabagger?

John Q Citizen: I just want to see responsible government, balanced budgets, reasonable taxes, economic growth and national security.

BHO: I get it. A right wing extremist who only watches Fox News. Do you have a gun and a Bible?

John Q Citizen: I have children and I’m concerned about their future.

BHO: You do have a gun don’t you? You know the Constitution is a living document, and, like Christians, it must change to meet the collective challenges of a changing world. Democracy can only work if people compromise and put their values on the back burner. Diversity depends on tolerance, and tolerance depends upon accepting everything.

John Q Citizen: What?

BHO: I think you heard me.

John Q Citizen: Listen, I have a son in the military. I’m concerned about his future as I look around the world and see our men and women in uniform taking incredible risks without a clearly defined mission, or the ability to protect themselves. For example, can you tell us what happened in Benghazi? Why did Hillary refuse to answer questions even recently? Why have you refused to answer questions?

(Sound of crickets)

John Q Citizen: What about Syria? What are you doing to stabilize that situation? Sixty thousand people have been killed there. Didn’t you early on try lifting sanctions on Assad?


John Q Citizen: Mali? Algeria? Iran? North Korea? Homegrown terrorism? Hezbollah throughout South America? Russian and Chinese aggression?


John Q Citizen: Why is North Africa on fire? Does it have anything to do with your actions in Libya and Egypt? Are there articles of impeachment pending because of you actions in Libya? You said Al Qaeda is on the run. Seems they are running right at us.

(Crickets go silent)

John Q Citizen: Maybe foreign policy is a sore subject. Unemployment, the economy and federal spending are also sore subjects apparently. How about the appeals court ruling that you violated the Constitution making recess appointments when the Senate wasn’t in recess?

BHO: You’re a racist aren’t you? I bet you don’t like Holder either, just because he’s black.

John Q Citizen: That reminds me, what about Fast & Furious? Your government authorized what? Thousands of automatic rifles channeled to drug cartels in Mexico and as a result two Americans and 300 Mexicans got killed. Is that right? When this story came out you blamed it on Bush, right? And now you want gun control in America and blanket amnesty?

BHO: People in the federal government screw up every day. How is that my fault?

John Q Citizen: Why did you have DHS buy all that ammunition and 7,000 automatic rifles? Do you expect trouble?

BHO: Well, you know, many vets are highly trained psychos.

John Q Citizen: Did you actually just say that out loud?


John Q Citizen: And then I read you are sending 16 heavily armed jets and 200 tanks to the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt. They’ve said the want to help Iran obliterate the Jews. Do you want to help them obliterate the Jews?

BHO: If Netanyahu keeps building apartments, what can I do about it?

John Q Citizen: It doesn’t seem you can do much about anything . . .

BHO: Just wait until your next doctor’s appointment.

John Q Citizen: What’s that supposed to mean?

BHO: The IRS will be in touch.

Allan Erickson
Allan Erickson---Christian, husband, father, journalist, businessman, screenwriter, and author of The Cross & the Constitution in the Age of Incoherence, Tate Publishing, 2012.