Area Student Arrested for Making a ‘Tornado in a Bottle’

Published on May 29, 2013

When parents of Denysin Elementary students were asked about the severity of Collins’ punishment, many believed that the actions taken against Collins were, “perfectly reasonable”.

“What if next time a student brings a real tornado to school? We have to show the bad seeds that there are serious consequences for their actions” remarked local mother and elbow pad enthusiast, Coleen McClusky.

Many parents of students in Collins’ class have spoken out for Collins to be, “expelled and banished” from the school and state respectively. Those parents then told reporters that were their children to be in Collins situation, they were, “ninety percent sure (they) would still feel the same way”.

Collins is currently being held in San Morrison federal prison without bail, and will see a judge sometime in between “next Tuesday and his eighth grade graduation”.

Trending: HAMAS: Ilhan Omar’s Totalitarian BFFs Arrested Own Citizens For Doing THIS Ordinary Thing …With Jews

UPDATE: After being thrown out by three separate local judges, Denysin Elementary School Principal is pursuing the possibility of trying young Peter Collins in a military tribunal for, “Conspiracy and Terrorism”.

(Preceding is Satire.)

P KanePatrick is a political activist based out of Boulder Colorado. He is currently employed by several of Colorado’s preeminent think tanks and has worked in the liberty movement since he was fourteen. An aspiring writer, Patrick currently writes for Girls Just Want To Have Guns and Complete Colorado Page Two.

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