What if George Zimmerman Could Choose His Own Jury?

Written by Skip Coryell on June 21, 2013

5. Aunt Jemima – We need a black person on this jury, and, let’s face it; she has a long history of making great pancakes. I love pancakes, and Judge Napolitano owns a maple syrup farm in New Jersey so this is a no-brainer much like Justin Bieber is a no-brain. Aunt Jemima would be a colorful addition to the jury while adding a menu of nutritious and good-tasting food items. (And they’re whole-grain.)

6. Gloria Steinem – Don’t rush to judgment on this one. Hear me out first. We need a woman to round it out and add the appearance of fairness and “diversity”. Sure, Aunt Jemima is technically a female, but, let’s face it; she’s just a face on a bag of flour. Besides, Gloria Steinem and Ted Nugent in the same room … within ten minutes Ted Nugent and Gloria would come to blows. Ted would strangle her with his own pony tail.

Bring in the first alternate juror.

7. Doug Giles – You got it – ClashDaily’s own the Giles man. He’d be an excellent choice to replace Steinem and complete the synergy of the jury. Picture this: after twenty-seven hours of deliberation, the jury is still deadlocked as Ted Nugent and Doug Giles smoke cigars, drink Scotch and swap hunting stories. Judge Napolitano would single-handedly deliberate the facts of the case on his own merit while Wayne LaPierre questioned Giles and Nugent on the best rifle cartridge to take down a zebra at long range. All the while, Justin Bieber could be heard whimpering in the corner as he continued to soil himself while crying out, “Mommy! Mommy! I’m in hell!” And Aunt Jemima? Get real. She just sits there in the chair. She’s a bag of flour … remember?

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And there you have it! The perfect jury for George Zimmerman! Okay, so my jury might not be realistic, but it would be fun to watch. Who is on your perfect George Zimmerman jury?

Image: Trailer for the 1957 film ’12 Angry Men’; date:circa 1957; source: United Artists

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Skip Coryell lives with his wife and children in Michigan. Skip Coryell is the author of nine books including  Blood in the Streets: Concealed Carry and the OK Corral; RKBA: Defending the Right to Keep and Bear Arms; The God Virus, and We Hold These Truths. He is the founder of The Second Amendment March and the President of White Feather Press. He is an avid hunter and sportsman, a Marine Corps veteran, and co-host of the syndicated radio show Frontlines of Freedom. Skip also hosts the weekly podcast The Home Defense Show, which can be heard 24/7 at www.americaswebradio.com/home-defense. For more details on Skip Coryell, or to contact him personally, go to his website at skipcoryell.com


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