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Cling to Your Gun and Your Penis

Screen Shot 2013-07-04 at 9.02.00 AMBy Mike Adams

Washington D.C. is in an uproar. District police are looking for two people in connection with an attack on a transgendered woman who was shot on Eastern Avenue last week. Tragically, the former man who is now a woman was approached by two gun wielding men who are still men. The present men assaulted the former man and then shot at her (previously him) as she (previously he) tried to run away.

The victim was treated at a local hospital; the men who are still men were seen fleeing the scene in a grey four-door sedan with the front driver’s side hubcap missing. The first subject is described as a black male (at least currently), who is about 5’10″, and has a dark complexion. In other words, he’s both black and dark.

The second suspect is described by police as “a black male,” who is about 6′ tall, and is “heavy-set, with a medium-brown complexion.” Police also released a video of the suspects they are seeking so people can watch for themselves and determine which of the police descriptions – “black” or “medium brown” – is the most accurate.

Anyone who has knowledge of this case, knows the identity of the persons of interest, or needs some clarification of the exact difference between “black” and “medium brown” should immediately call police at 202-727-9099 or simply text message 50411.

In the meantime, there are two really valuable lessons that can be learned from this recent attack by two men on one former man. They are listed below in order of their importance.

1. Always carry a gun. Washington DC is a dangerous place. I know that because I’ve run into some trouble there. A few years ago, I took on a Muslim extremist in my column. There were some disturbing email exchanges between us before I went to speak in DC so I did something I rarely do: I took two armed bodyguards with me into DC city limits.

I will grant that it was illegal for both of my bodyguards to be standing near me with concealed weapons during my speech in DC. But the Muslim I was tangling with had connections to Al Qaeda so we really couldn’t take any chances. Better to be tried by twelve as a present man than carried by six as a former man. If you don’t like violating the law by carrying concealed in places that don’t allow it, the remedy is simple: move.

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Mike Adams

Mike Adams is a criminology professor at the University of North Carolina Wilmington and author of Letters to a Young Progressive: How To Avoid Wasting Your Life Protesting Things You Don’t Understand.