2. Always keep the penis God gave you. I hate to be crass (well, I mean, I don’t always enjoy being crass) but relinquishing your maleness is never a good idea. When a man has surgery to mutilate his genitals and kicks off his boots in exchange for high heels he’s asking for trouble. Of course, it’s wrong whenever a former man is attacked because he had a sex change. But it’s also avoidable. Just as there is no gay gene, there is no self-mutilation gene. It’s a choice. And just like getting a tattoo it’s a dumb choice that is not easily undone and causes you to be taken less seriously by others. But unlike a tattoo a sex change makes you appear weak and vulnerable. And that’s not how God intended you to be. That’s why he made you a man.
But that’s enough about the transgendered. I have something to say to the metrosexuals as well: stop wearing skinny jeans and tight tee shirts that broadcast loudly to armed predatory men that you are not carrying a gun.
The way you carry yourself means everything, and I mean everything. You need to dress like a man, carry yourself like a man, and, above all else, talk like a man when you encounter strange men on the streets of a dangerous city. And like I mean that if you like start talking like a sorority girl then you will like not like the outcome at all. I mean like totally.
Well, that’s all the advice I have for today. When I post this on Facebook, they will probably ban me for violating community standards – in other words, for speaking obvious truths. But first I need to find an outlet that will publish this little essay. Are there any creepy ass cracker editors still willing to stand their ground? If you’re reading this essay, maybe there’s still hope.
