ATTENTION AL SHARPTON: Black Dude in White Hoodie Viciously Stabs White Teenage Girl

Did you hear about the seventeen-year-old Queens resident, Natasha Martinez, who was stabbed eleven times last week by a black male wearing a white hoodie?

Yep, just a few days ago, as this young lady was walking home from her job at Mickey D’s, and right in front of her house, Natasha was jumped by a black dude in a white hoodie and suffered eleven stab wounds — she is in serious condition.  Her state was so grave the doctors at Jamaica Hospital had to remove her spleen and confiscate a vein from her leg and implant it into her arm.

Back to my original question: Did you catch that story last week?

You didn’t?

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Now, don’t feel bad if you didn’t hear about it because very few people heard about this attempted murder because, I’m a guessin’, the knife wielder was a young black male dressed up like Obama’s son, in an angelic white hoodie.  But hey, what the heck do I know?  I’m a white devil.

I will venture to guess however — no … guarantee — that if the culprit was a chunky, white, Hispanic male with a cracker surname and the victim was a Skittle-eating black teen, sporting a hoodie who smokes weed and says “motherf**ker” every other word on Twitter, you’d have heard about it even if you lived in Osama’s old cave in the remote mountains of Suckistan.