GIRLS – Rules for Dating My Sons

Published on August 11, 2013

by Randy Lee
Clash Daily Guest Contributor

Inspired by the plethora of writings of a long, lost classmate from my days in high school via Facebook, coupled with God’s gift of my two precious sons who are becoming young men, I wanted to share the below reality with the girls (hopefully ladies) and their parents whose paths my sons shall cross. OK, and a few others

My sons’ mother (aka my wife of 22 years) and I have spent every waking hour over the last seventeen years, and a gazillion dollars, raising our sons to be good citizens (not thuggy punks), gentlemen (with proper social skills, who are humble), young men (not nancy boys). We have taught our sons about every one of the “do’s and don’ts” possible in a young man’s youth that any devoted parent can imagine. I have ZERO intention of letting my well rounded sons (now or at any point in the future) be involved with an undesirable member of the opposite sex as they endeavor to find the loves of their lives, serve God and Country and bring me and their mother grandchildren that we so dearly look forward too.

So, I’ve developed the following list of “RULES For Dating My Sons”. Parent’s please use any or all of this you want and YES, I do take donations (but am not a 501-c 3).

1. Girls: you must Always behave like a refined woman. Even when I’m not watching. You are advised that I will seek out and learn your character ASAP. If I don’t like what I learn, you are a known to be a “loose girl”, YOU are out. I have my ways of making you disappear from my son’s life.

2. Girls: know that my sons are protected by me, “yes even though they are boys” until death do us part. Take me at face value when I tell you that I shook the concept of fear of both my fellow man and my own actions 20 years ago. Ask around, I am the definition of hard-ass.

3. Girls: know it’s my job (practically a sport for me) to question you as if your intentions are nefarious. I have no way of telling what is going on in your head, so count on my questioning you intensely and I’m better at it than a Veteran New York Vice Cop.

4. Girls: know that I will get to know your family very quickly. Any odd personality characteristics, arrogance, criminal records, weird or overly protective male family members are your problem. Not mine or my sons’ problem, they are your problem and you do not want to make them mine or my sons’ problem. Promise.

5. Girls: Sex! I too was once young. I get it. But you, with my son, must be strong enough to resist sexual temptation during your youth, and yes I’m putting the burden on you, too, as my son will stop if you simply say; “NO! Your father warned us about this, remember.”. I don’t want any out-of-wedlock little ones with so much as a trace of our family’s genetics in them; and I’m pro-life so abortion is not the answer.

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