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Game Time! Let’s Pretend … that We Live in a Constitutional Republic

Even though my last column, A CALL TO ARMS, had a fancy CAVEAT EMPTOR that opened with the sentence, “This column is not calling for violence,” some critics chose to present it as a foolish call for insurrection, and still others thought it necessary to calm the “pitchforked and torched” masses by spiking their “night-night” milk with a “We [The People] Shall Overcome” lullaby.

It was quite reminiscent of the establishment in ancient Judea who told the nation that they should ignore the hysterics of Jeremiah because exile couldn’t possibly happen to us, God said so … somewhere in the Book of Who.

Sam Adams heard the same spiel from the Loyalists of his day. That the fledgling colonies could not possibly stand up to the sunset-less British Empire. And, after all, parliament would come through in the next session.

Well, it all reminded me of a game we used to play as kids called “Let’s Pretend.” So, I’m going to live for the moment in the sanguine world of the dreamer and pretend that we still live in a Constitutional Republic and that Miley is virgin, just going through a phase.

Let’s pretend that President Obama is really just a Democrat. There’s no evidence that Barack Obama is a Gramsci-Alinsky Marxist trying to poison America’s drinking water with a Cloward and Piven virus. It’s not like he taught RULES FOR RADICALS to ACORN or was surrounded by Commies growing up or sought them out at University. It’s not like he has appointed them as Czars or seeded them into bureaucratic outposts. It’s not like he funnels them money, grants them preferred status and says, on a hot mic, that he’ll be more “flexible” after he’s re-elected.

A phantom-Marxist? – C’mon man! There’s no evidence for that! I mean JFK went to a liberation theology church for twenty years and wrote a book about the shared dreams of his communist father too, right?

Let’s pretend that this climate is no different than the Carter ‘70’s; after just one term, the misery index will lead to certain defeat for Obama and the Democrats and Ronald Reagan will be waiting around the corner. Oh, wait.

Well, let’s pretend this is no different than Jimmy Carter’s second term, right? We have a bumbling executive whose poor decisions are leading to temporary economic woes that we can turn around in a few election cycles by collecting signatures, walking precincts and listening to Lee Greenwood on our Discman. Then we’ll just vote the rascals out and the Republicans will act responsible and turn the ship around.

Wait, why are those people playing with chunks of ice on the Promenade Deck?

Let’s pretend the rascals aren’t doing everything within their abused power to affect our fair election systems: like shunning photo ids, stuffing ballot boxes, rigging machines, or coaxing the homeless, the infirm and the room temperature to vote and to vote often. Let’s pretend that Democrats aren’t trying to give the vote to prisoners, rig the vote with illegals or suppress the vote with the IRS. Isn’t pretend wonderful?

Let’s pretend that there weren’t any districts that had 110% of the registered voters turnout with 99% of the ballots for Obama. Let’s pretend that Ohio isn’t Cuba or Iraq. Let’s pretend that Elvis, Osama Bin Laden and Mickey Mouse really are registered Democrats in Nevada.

Let’s pretend that we have an opposition party in this country that will stand for the Constitution and rally to the cause of the citizen. Let’s pretend that Mitch McConnell and John McCain are Republicans. (All right, I know that’s a reach but stay with me.)

Let’s pretend that Mitch McConnell and John McCain are Republicans who are pleased to hear and eager to support Senators Ted Cruz and Mike Lee. Let’s pretend the Republicans, for that matter, every elected official who swore to uphold the Constitution, will demand justice for the victims of Benghazi and Fast and Furious and demand jail time or worse for those who perpetrated them.

Let’s pretend that the debt clock hasn’t been stopped for over 145 days at $16.7 trillion. Let’s pretend that the insurmountable debt and the socialized stranglehold of the healthcare debacle haven’t already sold our children and children’s children into bondage.

Let’s pretend that the American People will eventually come around. That two generations of public school indoctrination and that Hollywood, New York and D.C. have had no influence on the low information voter. That there is a renewed interest in Bastiat and Friedman and, like Russell Crowe in Cinderella Man, the Obama zombies will rush en masse to the welfare office and turn in their Obamaphone and SNAP cards.

Let’s pretend that there has been nothing nefarious going on, we can certainly turn it all around with a vote or two. The American body politic isn’t smitten with a flesh-eating virus – it’s just a fever. “This too shall pass,” — just sign these two petitions and call your Cenataurs and Reprehensibles in the morning.

Let’s pretend that the Constitution wasn’t only made for a “moral and religious people” and that it is wholly adequate to the government of any other.  Let’s pretend that the chains that have been forged will dissolve in wishful thinking and a faith in fair play.

Let’s pretend that Marxists don’t lie, cheat, steal, and kill until the ends justify their “mean.” Let’s pretend that American Marxists don’t act like Marxists of any other country at any other time.

Let’s pretend that we are Martin Luther King Jr. and Ghandi and that our adversaries will be constrained by their Christian Worldview like the Imperial Brits and the 1950’s Americans. Let’s pretend that mere civil disobedience will head off the flying monkeys, melt the wicked witch and lead us to the Promised Land. Let’s pretend that we’re not the “Tank Guy” in Tiananmen Square and that those aren’t tread marks on our back.

Let’s pretend that we can blow the “Don’t Tread on Me” dog whistle and that Barack Obama and the progressive totalitarians will heel.

Come to think of it, I live in Realville! “Pretending” is for victims.

With my Republican friends, I’ll stick to “trust but verify,” and to the enemies of freedom, foreign and domestic, I will fight you to your last dying breath!

As far as my critics go, the chaps who believe that this is merely a status quo downturn destined to be overcome by common sense or some sort of revival; you want to blow sunshine in each other’s ears? – You get the steak knives, I’m going for the Glen Gary leads.

I believe that Jefferson was right when he said that we couldn’t expect to be translated from despotism to liberty on a featherbed. You want to sign petitions and call your Senators? Outstanding! But you better prepare for the thing to go sidewise or you’re not the children of Adams, Madison and Henry.

Gold and silver make a fine investment but in this crisis, buy lead! Our adversaries don’t heed the Constitution, so write it on your hearts and pass it down to your kids. They don’t fear the unarmed so sell your Zoot Suit and buy an AR-15. You’ll need to own a saber before you can rattle one.

John Kirkwood

John Kirkwood is a son of Issachar. He is a Zionist, gun-toting, cigar-smoking, incandescent light bulb-using, 3.2 gallon flushing, fur-wearing, Chinese (MSG) eating, bow-hunting, SUV driving, unhyphenated American man who loves his wife, isn't ashamed of his country and does not apologize for his Christianity. He Pastors Grace Gospel Fellowship Bensenville, where "we the people" seek to honor "In God we Trust." He hosts the Christian wake up call IN THE ARENA every Sunday at noon on AM 1160 and he co-hosts UnCommon Sense, the Christian Worldview with a double shot of espresso on He is the proud homeschooling dad of Konnor, Karter and Payton and the "blessed from heaven above" husband of the Righteous and Rowdy Wendymae.