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Trick Question: Can You be Our President?

By Rob Morse
Clash Daily Contributor

You can’t be President, and that’s a good thing

Judging by the number of people shouting at their TVs, radios and newspapers, most of us have had our fill of Washington politicians. You might think anyone could do a better job than the people we put in office, but that isn’t true. I’ve studied the situation, and you’re probably not ready to be president. Let’s take the Presidential test and see.

President Obama claimed the evil Republicans caused the government slowdown and put our economy at risk. That statement certainly sounded good to the news media. In fact, the House passed a budget this year and sent almost a dozen spending bills on to the Senate. On the other side of the aisle, the Democrat controlled Senate has not passed a budget in five years. You might not have heard that pesky fact mentioned by the main stream media.

A Democrat politician can lie about the government slow down and most of us won’t hear a skeptical question or even a snort from the DC press corps. That is both a sad state for our democracy and for you personally. Yes, for you! I mean really, can you lie in public like that?

You were taught not to lie, cheat or steal, so I don’t think you’re ready for public office just yet.

The Obama administration has to make the government slowdown hurt. You see why, don’t you? If the slowdown is accepted, or worse yet, embraced by the American people, then the Republicans will have cut the size of government by 13 to 17 percent. That could be the end of ever larger government, and the administration can’t allow that!

Instead, the administration will spend extra money to block remote sections of obscure highway in order to prove that the National Park Service is essential. Federal employees will arrest rogue World War II veterans who are looking at unguarded monuments from their walkers. At the same time, the National Park Service has reopening the Washington Mall for an open borders rally. The park service also strategically stationed park rangers along remote bike paths in order to keep the paths closed to the public, but they left the paths open near Democrat Senators’ houses.

This federal slowdown was never put in place to save the people’s money. So I ask you, are you ready to be that politically corrupt and partisan?

Sigh. I told you that you’re not ready for DC politics!

We were told Obamacare is now the law of the land and “the rest of the country” should simply accept it. I say “the rest of the country” because most of DC is exempt from Obamacare. The point of view that laws are permanent rules to be obeyed conflicts head-on with other “laws of the land” we were told not to accept … laws like the federal debt limit. We’re told the debt limit should be raised … to Saturn or higher. Our President, the “constitutional scholar”, had no trouble violating laws of the land like our immigration laws and the Defense of Marriage Act. It’s obvious you and I lack the refined perception that reveals which laws of the land are more equal than others.

Maybe. Perhaps there are only laws our president wants to follow and laws he doesn’t. Laws are such a hindrance once you’re king. Are you ready to violate the law like that, you political want-to-be?

Scoff. I thought not.

Let’s cut to the heart of the matter and talk about the top elected office in the United States and money. We currently borrow about 30 percent of our budget. If you were in the White House, what would you do if Congress wanted to slow the rate at which debt is accumulating? Will you boldly threaten to stop Social Security payments to old people and threaten Wall Street with default on our debts? Don’t worry. You’ll be out of elected office by the time the dollar crashes anyway, so screw the kids who were too young to vote for you! Better yet, will you threaten to shut down the government unless you get a budget increase?

If you said, “Hehl Yeah!” then you’re finally catching on. Now we’re talking real politics! The patronage and kickbacks must go on. That is the real meaning of “FORWARD”.

Some of you are shaking your head. I think I understand what is holding you back. Perhaps you’ve actually run a business. Some of you at least managed to stay out of bankruptcy. That honest and ethical behavior disqualifies you from being President of the United States, and probably from being a Senator. Maybe, in order to blend in with our betters, you could get a law degree and be disbarred before you run for office.

It looks like you’re not welcome in Washington, and that is a shame. Government service was supposed to be for the part-time citizen legislator who wanted to serve his community. Our government was supposed to be simple, accessible and small. It could be so again, if we elected honest people like you to office. People like you are our only hope to trim government back to a more human size.

I like the idea of my fellow citizens running our government. I like it a lot. I’ll even make a small donation to your campaign. You have my vote, and I ask only one thing.

Please don’t fit-in once you get to DC.

morseRob Morse is slightly intelligent with a serious sense of humor. He has been driven crazy as a design engineer is several bleeding-edge high-tech companies. He remains faithful and committed to marriage with his wife of 29 years. His two children have successfully escaped into the wild. He writes about technology and society from his home in southern California.