Dudes, if you want to destroy your marriage say and do the following:
1. When busted flirting with another woman say, “Honey, I don’t like her. I’m just chatting with her on facebook.”
2. After she unloads her heart to you, lower your Guns & Ammo magazine and say, “I’m sorry. What were you talking about?”
3. Act like a shriveled hamster during difficult times and say, “Sometimes, I feel so scared and so alone.”
4. Hit her with this one… “Now listen babe. I know our son needs brain surgery but this bear hunt is the opportunity of a lifetime.”
5. After you down a beer yell, “Get me a beer, dammit. Beer and cheetos woman. Don’t make me whip you.”
6. Fart at the dinner table.
7. Tell your wife you go to Hooters for the chicken wings.
8. Scream at her in a loud voice, “You’re not my mother.” And then demand she give you back the Playstation controls!
9. When down and out tell your lady that you think Obama’s food stamp program is the solution.
10. And finally, try suggesting to your 45-year-old wife that. “With new boobs, liposuction on her gut, butt, neck and arms and her doing a little something about her stretch marks she could look just like Adriana Lima!”