Ahh, Now It’s All Clear: A ‘Liberal’ View of American History

Written by Clark Howell on January 30, 2014

Some people say that Liberals don’t understand American history, or frequently make up their own version of it. I’m here to tell you that that’s just not true. Liberals have a fervent respect for learning, and history is at the top of their list when it comes to knowledge.

Ever since George Washington crossed the Delaware Bridge on his way to Gettysburg to fight the Germans, it was liberals who made sure that the events of the day were recorded, and recorded correctly so that generations and generations to come could understand the full meaning of these events.

Starting with the Revolutionary War, and all the way through to the first moon landings of 1928, American history has seen a steady stream of successes and triumphs, all recorded by loyal and patriotic, American-loving liberals. Who could forget, in 1847, those first grainy black & white “moving pictures” of Betsy Ross sewing her fingers to the bone to create what we now know as the American flag – a flag that would eventually have more stars on it and one day proudly fly on the surface of another world – Venus. And how can we forget the men and woman of the military who first took up arms to oust the evil Dictator, King George of Luxenborg, and establish what would become the most successful welfare state in all of lower New England – Massachusetts.

These events, and others, have sometimes overshadowed some of the lesser known successes and trials of average Americans during the period that we now call The Renaissance. For instance, many people in the states of Kentucky and West Virginia toiled in the dank, cold & wet diamond mines and often had to work long weekends, as well as holidays such as Martin Luther King Day. Fortunately for these people, they also invented Moon Shine Whiskey and the Banjo, which made the time past much more quickly.

As America grew, people begin moving out west and discovered that wagon trails were not for the faint of heart. Not only did Indians ruin many a day for these intrepid travelers, they also went on to ruin many a gambler in the casinos of Las Vegas and Atlantic City two centuries later. This was as it should be.

Of course, war and the effects of war should never be overlooked, and America has had her share of war. From the halls of Montezuma, to the shores of Hallali, Americans have been able to fight and win every war they’ve ever fought….. except for Vietnam, Afghanistan, Iraq and Syria. But we DID win all the others, such as The Great War and the War of 1812, which occurred just after the Civil War. And by the way, America both won AND lost THAT war, and it goes without saying that we should be partially proud of the way we fought.

And now that America has moved on to become a successful socialist society, we can look back and laugh at the mistakes of Capitalism and of not being nice to one another. Even though it will take us, as recently estimated by the CBO, 573 years to pay down the current debt, starting this process NOW would only hurt the bubble economy and stall the current robust recovery. After all, we still have 572 years to discuss the best way forward.

So, my fellow Americans, ask NOT, how your country can do it for you, ask what can do to your country to make it better and even MORE socialist and good. And remember, as Ronald Reagan once said, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear DOWN this wall,” and was then shot in a failed assassination attempt. Of course, as we all know, that assassination finally DID succeed, sadly, when Ronald Reagan finally died of old age.

Never let it be said that liberal Americans don’t love their nation, and their positive version of revisionist history. All is as it should be.

Image: Courtesy of: http://www.flickr.com/photos/arboghast/3176160087/

Clark Howell is a 50-something, former Liberal who, sometime in the mid 1980's, began to take notice of Ronald Reagan and the positive policies that he and his political allies brought to the table of American life and politics. Since first leaning about Barrack Obama and his ambitions in 2004, he has begun a quest to understand the motivations behind modern "Liberalism" and "Progresivism." Mr. Howell is a professional Marketing Consultant in Central Massachusetts.