Written by Andrew Allen on April 19, 2015

Let me get this straight. Hillary Clinton is pretending to sneak her way from New York to Iowa in a pimped out van because that will help her connect with ordinary Americans?
Hillary, 1973 called and wants it’s Sammy Johns hit “Chevy Van” back. And sorry, I don’t think Sammy Johns wants to perform his song in Paris while you stand awkwardly at his side, Secretary of Personality John Kerry.

Hillary, every van produced between 1965 and 1979 that was either hand-painted with hippie artwork and then smothered with choom gang residue, or tricked out with little circular windows and shag carpet plus a mini-bar, called dismayed that you compared them with your “Scoobie van”.

Oh, and Shaggy from Scoobie Doo called and said “siiiiikes”.

Hillary’s last frame of reference to American “ordinary-ness” is interestingly right around the time pimped out vans were all the rage. In the late 1960s and into really the early 1980s a pimped out van — especially one on the road — spoke of an average American decisively doing something. That “something” might have been social activism. It might have been leaving the past behind for a new beginning.

But today, in 2015, it’s a creepy idea. Sneaking around in a van to try and appear ordinary. This isn’t going to play out well. Not as the blacked out — no offense #Ferguson — van rolls on and randomly stops so Hillary, decked out in Lord Vader-style shades to mingle with the common folk, can post the encounter on the internet.

The only other people that do this in America today are homemade porn creepers that use a van as the location to video what they post on-line. Typically the scam works like this: van rolls until they find a young lady they offer cash to in exchange for a sexual act performed on camera.

Isn’t that what Hillary’s Scoobie van is most like. The van rolls in and finds low information voters she can promise handouts to if they will join her on camera. And we all get screwed in the process.

Image: https://www.flickr.com/photos/wiredfornoise/3722861196/

Andrew Allen
Andrew Allen (@aandrewallen) grew up in the American southeast and for more than two decades has worked as an information technoloigies professional in various locations around the globe. A former far-left activist, Allen became a conservative in the late 1990s following a lengthy period spent questioning his own worldview. When not working IT-related issues or traveling, Andrew Allen spends his time discovering new ways to bring the pain by exposing the idiocy of liberals and their ideology.