THESE 36 HOUSE REPUBLICANS: Might Be The Only Ones That We Can Trust

Written by Michael Cummings on October 17, 2015

Dear Republican Members Of The United States House Of Representatives:

What is wrong with you people? Are you aware there is a group of your fellow Congressmen (I don’t say freshwomen so I don’t say Congresswomen, and I’m not sorry) who have had to form a separate faction called the Freedom Caucus? Shouldn’t every member of the US House, Democrat and Republican alike, be a member of this group? Those who have concluded that the Freedom Caucus is just too scope-locked on the notion of personal rights and the promotion of individual sovereignty, does it not occur to you that there is no middle ground on these fundamentals?

Clashmates, when we say, “there are only a handful of Republicans we can trust,” the following is that handful.

Jim Jordan of Ohio, Chair
Justin Amash of Michigan
Brian Babin of Texas
Rod Blum of Iowa
Dave Brat of Virginia
Jim Bridenstine of Oklahoma
Mo Brooks of Alabama
Ken Buck of Colorado
Curt Clawson of Florida
Ron DeSantis of Florida
Scott Desjarlais of Tennessee
Jeff Duncan of South Carolina
John Fleming of Louisiana
Trent Franks of Arizona
Scott Garrett of New Jersey
Paul Gosar of Arizona
Morgan Griffith of Virginia
Andy Harris of Maryland
Jody Hice of Georgia
Tim Huelskamp of Kansas
Raúl Labrador of Idaho
Barry Loudermilk of Georgia
Cynthia Lummis of Wyoming
Mark Meadows of North Carolina
Alex Mooney of West Virginia
Mick Mulvaney of South Carolina
Gary Palmer of Alabama
Steve Pearce of New Mexico
Scott Perry of Pennsylvania
Ted Poe of Texas
Bill Posey of Florida
Keith Rothfus of Pennsylvania
Matt Salmon of Arizona
Mark Sanford of South Carolina
David Schweikert of Arizona
Marlin Stutzman of Indiana

You see, Unfreedom Caucus members, aside from doing what you promised during the last midterm elections — we’re still waiting, by the way — you need to choose a Speaker of The House. And considering your clearly questionable knowledge of the constitution, I need to inform or remind you that the Speaker is an important part of the legislative equation, third in line to the presidency and, interestingly enough, doesn’t need to be an elected member of the House of Representatives.

Knowing this, it’s clear your choices have just expanded into the general population. People like Scott Walker (recently available), Allen West, or Michele Bachmann come to mind as suitable Americans with the intelligence and intestinal fortitude to do what needs to be done. In fact, as a take-off on what William F. Buckley said about being governed by people in the Boston phone book, I would trust the first 100 Clash Daily readers as Speaker over anyone who’s not in the Freedom Caucus.

Why not Paul Ryan? Maybe because his longtime friend and a Marxist, amnesty shill Luiz Gutierrez endorsed him. Good rule of thumb: If any Democrat endorses you, it’s bad for America.

To everyone outside the Freedom Caucus membership, put your big boy pants on, step up, and become members of the Freedom Caucus. We everyday Americans, Republican and independents alike, aren’t sure how long we can hold back the pitchforks.

To those in the Freedom Caucus, or any other principled conservative, John Boehner was lame before he announced his resignation. Now, we’ll have to check his tear ducts just to ensure he’s alive. The only thing he’ll be good for is assuring the passage of what will no doubt be legislation dedicated to America’s downward spiral. We need you to bear down, and put up a man or woman worthy to lead, and it needs to be now.

Or are you operating under the delusion that everything in America is jolly good, and we have plenty of time to let this all play out? Do you mean to tell me you’re worthy of serving your district but you don’t want to exit the comfort of your mostly obscure House seat to serve the United States?

We get how unpleasant raising your hand will be. Guess what? We don’t care. If it were easy, everyone would do it. If my words can’t motivate you, imagine you’re looking in the eye of one of our soldiers stationed anywhere in the Middle East or Africa, and tell him you just don’t want to give up your cushy anonymity and House committee chairmanships.

What do you suppose he would tell you?


Share if you’re annoyed a “Freedom Caucus” is even necessary in the Congress.

Michael Cummings
Michael A. Cummings has a Bachelors in Business Management from St. John's University in Collegeville, MN, and a Masters in Rhetoric & Composition from Northern Arizona University. He has worked as a department store Loss Prevention Officer, bank auditor, textbook store manager, Chinese food delivery man, and technology salesman. Cummings wrote position pieces for the 2010 Trevor Drown for US Senate (AR) and 2012 Joe Coors for Congress (CO) campaigns.