Did You Know Hillary Wants to ENFORCE This Plan On Babysitters?

Written by Andrew Allen on May 15, 2016

“I have a million ideas…the country can’t afford them all”. At some point this Hillary quote will no doubt come back to haunt her. The latest idea Hillary has that America can’t afford is her idea to cap child care costs at 10% of family income.

Like everything liberal, as a concept it sounds warm and fluffy, just like the blanket mommy pulled from the dryer and let you snuggle with while It was still toasty and smelled like a baby’s butt and apple sauce.

Like everything liberal, in reality It would be an ice cold leviathan just like the New Deal, Great Society, Obamacare, and all the rest as it pythoned itself around you and absorbed you the way The Borg absorbed Jean Luc-Picard. For the olfactory? Failure, despair, and the false hope that just one more Democrat will make the world all right – the way a drunk thinks one more round will make the room stop spinning.

Mark Zuckerberg if you’re reading – and you are I know it! – at this point you’ll want to instruct the Political Commissars under your thumb to trend down Clash Daily and trend up #UnicornLivesMatter. A lot of a little thing called the truth is fixin’ to come out and we know how Fakebook feels about that.

First, what is “family income”? Pre-tax? Post-tax? Which tax? State? Local? Federal? And what happens when “family income” exceeds whatever dollar amount liberals believe serves as the dividing line between impoverished working class stiffs and the satanic hordes also known as the wealthy?

By the way, what’s a “family”? In this day and age restroom utilization has transitioned from one person looking at one of two signs and then going into a one of two places to relives oneself, into a cacophony of genitalia induced rage. If as a society we can’t figure out how to take a dump without the Supreme Court instructing us on the particulars, how in the world can we even begin to define what constitutes a “family”?

That’s the easy stuff.

The nastier and more invasive aspect of Hillary’s plan (who’d have thought anything nasty and invasive could have emerged from Clintonistan; Chlamydia’s envious) is the inevitable quid pro quo.

Say you want to run a child care operation from your home. Nothing huge. Four or five kids. Just a few hours out of the day. Hillary’s mandate says that you can charge whatever you want to charge parents for it. But you can’t charge them more than 10% of their annual income. So:

– How are you going to know what 10% of their annual income is considering that any number of federal and local statutes are in place to safeguard “personally identifiable information” which, according to federal law, includes “wage and salary” information”?

– When your costs are in excess of what you can charge your customers, what do you do other than stop providing child care services for your customers?

Yes, a brand spankin’ new federal agency will have to be established to nanomanagerially answer such questions. After all, a mere house husband in Duluth can’t acquire the income information of his day care customers on his own. And, someone must be charged with assessing the childcareness of child care providers so that federal subsidies can flow to those approved to provide child care. Unapproved providers will of course be fined and imprisoned until a hashtag movement emerges via which they can petition the social media informed masses for salvation.

There will be subsidies. They’ll be tied to the myriad requirements some federal agency will demand of anyone wanting to look after a couple of neighborhood kids while mom or dad is out earning a living. Those requirements will trace their roots back to left’s vast swamp of social engineering:

“I understand Mr. Dubois that you only have one restroom facility in your home”, began the federal child care inspection agent, “but how do you ensure that children who consider themselves neither male nor female or otherwise have an exclusive location in which they too can go potty?”.

Yes, knock knock, the federal government now has a way to invite itself into your home at it’s pleasure Mr. Dubois.

How deeply will it extend?:

“Nana”, began the young mother, “I got this thing in the mail that says we have to fill out these papers since you are looking after Sage while I’m at work. It says if you don’t then you have to go to court.”

And what about all those child care providers operating today free and clean and legal, but tomorrow as undercover and secretive as a meth lab:

“Local news has learned that at this home, at least three and possibly four children were fed Chef Boyardee lunches and made to pay on the swingset you can see,” said the local news talking head. “Can you pan over so we can see the swings”.

Just one of the million ideas or so Hillary has that we can’t afford. #WeAreDoomed.

Image: Hillary Clinton via photopin (license); Gage Skidmore

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Andrew Allen
Andrew Allen (@aandrewallen) grew up in the American southeast and for more than two decades has worked as an information technoloigies professional in various locations around the globe. A former far-left activist, Allen became a conservative in the late 1990s following a lengthy period spent questioning his own worldview. When not working IT-related issues or traveling, Andrew Allen spends his time discovering new ways to bring the pain by exposing the idiocy of liberals and their ideology.