Strange Days: When Satire Site ‘The Onion’ Offers Better Reporting Than MSM

Written by Andrew Allen on September 5, 2017

Hey CNN, MSNBC, NBC, New York Times, Salon, Vox, Vanity Fair, Atlantic, New Yorker, Chicago Tribune, LA Times, HuffPo, etc, The Onion has just run a news items that is more real than anything you’ve put out lately.

Check it out:

Make no mistake, I realize The Onion probably didn’t mean to report real news. Admittedly, The Onion at times can be pretty funny. And admit it, The Onion’s humor often takes a deliberate left-wing approach. So in their article, readers are supposed to chuckle in that snarky way the deliberately uninformed left do when the police are juxtaposed with Antifa in what is supposed to be some stirring social statement of some sort.

Get it, police are militants too. Protestors are peaceful. Police make it violent. Wink wink. Nudge nudge. That’s probably what The Onion intended and it is about as original as all those not so subtle anti-Trump asides that pass for punch lines on prime time television these days.

The Onion piece brings up a hard truth nobody in the media has touched yet: it is a reminder that heavily armed, masked police aren’t marching into demonstrations at random to break up whatever mayhem Antifa are up to. Like in Berkeley, where the police allowed Antifa to infiltrate a peaceful protest and assault people. Or Charlottesville, where police abandoned their posts and gave their city over to the violence committed by both sides.

Those are but two examples. There are many others. In nearly all the template it’s the same: A non-leftist group plans a public event, applies for the necessary permits, and coordinates their event with local authorities. The event begins and Antifa shows up without permits and (maybe) without prior coordination with local authorities. Someone tells the police to stand down. Violence ensues and the non-leftist group takes the bulk of the blame.

Where are these stand down orders to police coming from and why? I mean, isn’t that the unintended satire evident in The Onion article? That there are no armed and well-equipped police restoring order as demonstrations descend into chaos?

In the case of Charlottesville, the answer is easy: somewhere among the three stooges that are Governor Terry McAuliffe, Charlottesville mayor Michael Signer, and Charlottesville vice mayor Wes Bellamy. McAuliffe you probably know about already given his ties to the Clintons as well as the Obama administration. For a primer on where Signer stands, go to his own website and read the various articles he’s offered: Kind of weird that the mayor of some small progressive college town tucked away in the Virginia mountains spends so much time politicking at the national-level isn’t it?

Then there’s Wes Bellamy. Of all the unreported gems of stories from Charlottesville, Wes Bellamy is tops. The left now pretends he and he alone is the key to Charlottesville’s salvation. That’s why when “activists” stormed a city council meeting in Charlottesville a few weeks ago, he was the only member of the council that didn’t evacuate. Bellamy “negotiated” with the “activists” so that the city council meeting could resume in the format of a question and answer session between the activists and city council members. The left likes that. The left is less happy about Bellamy’s social media behavior and they’d prefer you not learn about it:
Did you know Bellamy is a member of the Virginia State Board of Elections? That Terry McAuliffe is term limited and can’t run for governor again but his trusty sidekick Ralph Northam can and is running for governor in 2017? Michael Signer is neck deep with big Democratic Party politics, groups like Center for American Progress, and figures like John Podesta. Today’s Democrats know to never let a crisis go to waste for a crisis gives them the opportunity to do things they couldn’t do otherwise.

Consider the remarks given by Brian Moran. (If the name sounds familiar it is because he is Jim Moran’s brother. Jim Moran was a long time Congressman representing DC suburbs. Additionally, Jim Moran was well-known in the DC area as an abusive drunk with a nasty tendency for smacking his wife around every now and again.) Brian Moran serves as McAuliffe’s Secretary of Public Safety and Homeland Security – that means he’d have been briefed on the warning given to his department by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security:
Moran, who observed the Charlottesville violence from the safety of a sixth-floor command post, told the New York Times “I compare it to hockey. Often in hockey there are sporadic fights and then they separate. But our plan to ensure the safety of our citizens and property, it went extremely well.”

How it could have possibly gone any worse is anybody’s guess, if we are to accept that by “our citizens” and “our property”, Moran meant everybody. Democrats don’t work that way though. They view the world demographically, and in terms of how many hyphenated groups they can shoehorn people into. If Charlottesville “went extremely well” it only did so in terms of creating a crisis for the left to respond to in ways they otherwise could not. That’s why in 2017 Americans are all the sudden debating a civil war that happened 150 years ago, and statues ranging from those of Robert E. Lee to Abraham Lincoln and even Christopher Columbus are being vandalized and stricken from public view.

Isn’t it creepy that when statues are removed it happens in the dead of night. (Kind of like how in totalitarian countries, the secret police snatch people away in the dark of night never to be seen or heard from again.) Isn’t it even creepier that no one to date seems to be able to articulate a) what we are accomplishing by spending thousands of dollars to remove statues and b) what statues will be erected in their place? (I live near Baltimore where the city can’t even pay for air-conditioning in city schools yet they somehow found the money to remove statues?).

In Virginia you see, there is a 2017 election to win. If that means a normally quiet, progressive college town must be turned into ground zero for racially-influenced riots, so be it. The Democrats are that desperate to hold on to the governor’s office in Virginia lest the perception of that state turning red one year after Trump’s election emerge.

Never Let a Crisis Go to Waste
Remember what the crisis is for the left. The crisis is that Hillary Clinton lost the election and Donald Trump is in office. The Russia thing is melting like a snowflake in July – word on the street is that Mueller’s investigation will be complete before December. Once the Russia story is gone the only other thing the left has to turn to is the race card. The only way they can play the race card AND get attention from a public that is pretty sick and tired of political correctness, is to do so in the most shrill and obnoxious way possible. Enter from stage left, the well-funded Antifa movement.

Hiding behind the stage curtain are elected Democrat leaders who have instructed their police departments to stand down. There’s a crisis they can’t let go to waste. America’s fundamental transformation must continue as though we were living in Obama’s third term.

photo credit: ❡ ♻ ₭ Dual Core! via photopin (license)

Share if you agree it seems like real life is outdoing the “fake news” lately.

Andrew Allen
Andrew Allen (@aandrewallen) grew up in the American southeast and for more than two decades has worked as an information technoloigies professional in various locations around the globe. A former far-left activist, Allen became a conservative in the late 1990s following a lengthy period spent questioning his own worldview. When not working IT-related issues or traveling, Andrew Allen spends his time discovering new ways to bring the pain by exposing the idiocy of liberals and their ideology.