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News Clash

An Erection Lasting Longer Than 91 Hours Could Net You A Cool 5 MILLION Dollars!

This bro is trying to cash in on his traumatic erection. Yes, you read that right.

Dustin Lance, 32, is launching a $5 million lawsuit because he alleges that he has suffered permanent injury after staff at the jail in Pittsburg County, Oklahoma, where he was incarcerated refused him medical treatment for an erection that lasted 91 hours.

Dustin Lance claims his civil rights were violated in the $5million lawsuit he filed on September 18 in Pittsburg County District Court against Pittsburg County Sheriff Chris Morris, the Pittsburg County Board of County Commissioners, three county sheriff’s deputies, a nurse and up to 10 other unnamed individuals, Tulsa World reported.

Lance took a pill offered to him by another inmate on December 15, 2016. The next day, he told jail officials that he was suffering ‘unbearable pain’ from the erection. But Lance alleges that they mocked him and refused him treatment.

So why was he in the clink in the first place?

Burglary and possession of controlled dangerous substances charges.

Lance alleges that he was mocked repeatedly by staff at the jail and denied medical care until December 19.
He was transported to McAlester Regional Hospital around noon that day by jail employees. But doctors at the hospital said they could not treat his condition and said he needed to be transferred to Tulsa to see a urologist, according to the lawsuit.
Officials returned Lance back to the jail and then arranged for him to be released on his own recognizance instead of transporting him to a Tulsa hospital, according to the lawsuit.
– Source DailyMail

But wait!

There’s more!

Officials cited language in the petition that indicates Lance is deceased and they say a representative of his estate should have brought the suit if in fact he is dead.
An attorney who filed the lawsuit, Jon Williford, told Tulsa World that ‘Lance had not died and attributed the reference to his client’s demise to a ‘scrivener’s error.”
He said they would amend the lawsuit to remove references to his client’s death.
Lance was initially behind bars on burglary and possession of controlled dangerous substances charges.
– Source DailyMail

His own lawyers didn’t know whether their client was alive or dead?

This should be an interesting lawsuit.

Does your grandpa go off on paltry politicians, whether they be Democrats or Republicans? Does he get misty eyed when he talks about God and Country and America’s future? And have you ever heard him scream, ‘Awww … Hell no!’ when Rosie O’Donnell starts yapping on television? If you answered yes to one, or all of the above, then your gramps will love Doug Giles’ latest book, My Grandpa Is A Patriotic Badass.

Don’t be fooled by the title — this ain’t just for Grandpa.
The Snowflake Generation — and the rest of America — needs a good ol’ dose of ‘Grandpa wisdom’.
Especially if that Grandpa is Doug Giles.
You’ll love My Grandpa Is A Patriotic Badass just as much as Grandpa will.

Share if you think this whole situation is pretty nutty.

K. Walker

ClashDaily's Associate Editor since August 2016. Self-described political junkie, anti-Third Wave Feminist, and a nightmare to the 'intersectional' crowd. Mrs. Walker has taken a stand against 'white privilege' education in public schools. She's also an amateur Playwright, former Drama teacher, and staunch defender of the Oxford comma. Follow her humble musings on Twitter: @TheMrsKnowItAll and on Gettr @KarenWalker