It’s a little hard to be the ‘Pope to the Left’ when you’ve got all this photo evidence of a chum slick of morally dubious decisions.
He hosts the Oscars.
He’s an A-lister.
He’s richer than you, and not afraid to remind you of it.
And he knows how to treat women. Just ask him, he’ll tell you.
(Just don’t mention these pics. He might get grumpy. Or weepy.)
Here are Kimmel and Carolla holding a ‘Juggy Talent Show‘ — a show of ‘talent’ by the scantily-clad women on the Man Show:
In front of a wildly cheering mostly-male audience, they did such amazing shows of talent as ‘doing a thumbs up with her big toe’. Or ‘eating a banana in a single bite’, ‘splits all the way to the ground’, ‘telling the difference between a real person and a cartoon’, ‘I do the worm’, ‘I can lick the back of my leg’. The juggy twins were, shall we say, flexing their pecs one at a time. In bikinis.
They joked about the “Juggy Nicole”‘ and her banana act (Kimmel whispers) and Corolla says …it COULD be your penis! There was a joke about swallowing in there, too.
Kimmel joked with “Juggy Suzanne” when she said she ‘did the worm’… Ok. Let me get mine out and we’ll see it.
And then said her hoarse voice made it sound like she had a banana in her throat.
But the Man Show wasn’t all tasteless innuendo.
Their show was compassionate and covered important social issues. Like homelessness.
No, wait. It wasn’t homelessness.
What was it again?
Right. That’s it.
“Toplessness in America”
They even cited an expert from Gazonga University.
Now, Kimmel was saying something about our society’s shameful treatment of women, wasn’t he? Something about how other people demean them?
We’re not sure, but he’ll most likely cry about halfway through it. Maybe mention something about MeToo and insult someone who disagrees with him politically.
Because he IS the moral authority on the topic of treating women with respect.
Here’s a brand new book on how to be a Warrior Chick by Regis Giles — daughter of our very own Doug Giles:
From the book:
Do I want this to be happening? Why is his hand on my waist? Is he really fondling my breasts? What do I do? Why is he in a bathrobe? Why is he taking off the bathrobe? God, I need to get out of here! I thought this was going to be professional.
No one, unless they’ve been in the same situation, can ever really understand the stress and self-doubt one goes through when sexual harassment occurs.
Regis Giles’ new book will teach you how to escape the world of #MeToo victim and become the #WarriorChick you were meant to be!
Think Miss Giles knows a thing or two about taking care of herself? You’d better believe it.
She and her sister Hannah were the very first two female Valente Bros black Belts. That’s a feather in your cap, for sure.
She’s got a website ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Guns‘ and she had it LONG before it was ‘trendy’ to talk about #MeToo.
She’s also a world-class huntress.
Get your copy of How to not be a #MeToo Victim, but a #WarriorChick today!
There’s one thing that increasingly unites men and women these days. We can both agree that Liberals are losing their ever-loving minds. Now there’s a shirt that says just that.
Conveniently available in Both Ladies…
AND Men’s versions.
Either Liberals just don’t get it, or they are sick in the head. Probably both. Think about it: They want to have all of the blessings that come with living in a capitalist society such as modern medicine and technology. But they believe in socialism, which stifles innovation and progress.
They want to be protected by the police and the military, but they attack and criticize the men and women who protect us. They call conservatives “racists,” but it’s their own identity politics that have created race problems in the first place. After all, Democrats were the party of slavery!
They attack hunters, but have no problem wearing leather shoes or owning cars with leather upholstery! And of course, they believe guns kill people. Not the people that pull the trigger.
Well, here’s a shirt that sums it perfectly. Liberalism is a… MENTAL DISORDER.
And the best part? This shirt is made in the USA, printed in the USA, on an American-Made t-shirt press!
Ladies, get yours here.
Bros, click here, instead.