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Opinion

Have You Ever Noticed The Similarities Between The Clintons And The Three Stooges?

My apologies to The Three Stooges. I love those guys. All of them. Even the obscure Stooges.

MEMORIAL DAY MESSAGE
The best thing Chelsea Clinton could come up with for a Memorial Day message to America was to interview with a foreign media outlet (the U.K.’s Guardian newspaper) and gripe about President Trump.

Shocker I know.

I’ll give Chelsea credit. She was smart enough not to have said that Trump made her feel bad about being a woman. If she had said that, her dad’s (assuming Bill Clinton is her dad despite her striking resemblance to Webb Hubbell) lifelong effort to convert every woman within his reach into a penis receptacle would have come to light. Her mother’s ties to Bill Clinton-like gents such as Harvey Just -Turned-Himself-In-To-The-Cops Weinstein would also have been revisited.

So, Chelsea traded her gender for nationalism and wrapped herself in the American flag. Note that this is the first time a card-carrying member of the globalist left has publicly put the planet in second place and self-identified as an American. I’ll give Chelsea credit for that too. Who knows. She might coin a phrase like “make America great again” and raise money with ball caps featuring the catchy slogan– such a patriot HillBill’s kid.

I won’t waste words in response to Chelsea’s statement in the Guardian. I’m sure Chelsea imagines herself cutting edge and all the rest. Fact is, much like her mother, she’s merely grafted herself on to the coattails of others and she expects to ride them. Where exactly?

The Clinton’s haven’t done anything spontaneous since the late 1960s. Chelsea’s interview with the Guardian and the timing of its release weren’t by chance. It was carefully crafted. Stage-managed. It was deliberate in its execution, so much so that it happened right around Memorial Day.

By doing it around Memorial Day, the idea was that a) Chelsea could portray herself as the uber-patriot of the so-called “resistance”, and b) her comments would generate controversy; we all know that controversy is necessary if one wants to get attention on-line and in the media these days.

But to what end?

CHELSEA 2018? 2020?
Don’t be fooled dear readers. Chelsea Clinton is running for office and her interview in the Guardian is the first step in that direction. Which office? It’s coming. Don’t worry.

(Rumor has it…not joking…that she may run for office in Arkansas!)

OR WAIT…
Could I be wrong? Sure.

There is always the possibility Chelsea was farmed out to deliver the Clinton Memorial Day message to give her mom cover for a 2020 Presidential bid.

Again, these Clinton people never do anything by chance. It would make perfect sense for Hillary to con Chelsea into going out over a Memorial Day weekend and making a fool of herself in the media. Chelsea has a lot of experience making a fool of herself in that way after all. Tossing Chelsea out there would give the Clintons simultaneous ability to placate the so-called “resistance” while at the same time distancing questionable Memorial Day commentary from dear old Hillary.

Dingbat wins either way! Think about it.

If Chelsea’s message came across as too harsh and failed to resonate as anticipated? Well It was Chelsea that said it and not Hillary or Bill. Thus, you can’t pin it on Hillary.

If Chelsea’s message struck just the right chord over Memorial Day weekend with the “resistance” crowd? Well isn’t Chelsea just a chip off the old block. She’s got dad’s charisma but she learned the real stuff from mom didn’t she. And Hillary will ride anyone’s coattails, Chelsea’s included.

THREE CLINTON STOOGES
Hillary Clinton is Moe. Without a doubt. Harsh. Brash. Mean. Inflexible in cause. She brings both the pain and a micro managerial world view to every problem presented.

Bill Clinton is Larry. Aloof. Womanizing. Forever dreading Moe’s inevitable wrath but relentless in his quest for all that Moe might rip him a new one over.

That leaves Chelsea, the third stooge, often Curly or Shemp, but occasionally someone else. As Chelsea’s quest for office begins, it will be interesting to see where she aligns as the third Clinton stooge.

One thing we know for sure…

MEMORIAL DAY
Memorial Day exists as a holiday to honor countless men and women that gave the ultimate sacrifice for America – that number includes those that died in Benghazi, Libya, under then Secretary of State Clinton’s watch.

Some that died were Bill and Hillary’s classmates. He wrote a letter to his school’s ROTC office begging not to be drafted because he feared wartime service would hinder his future political ambitions. (That is why he did not serve in Vietnam despite being physically qualified to do so).

There are men and women who perished for the United States of America doing things a Clinton can’t imagine, and suffering in ways Hillary with her Chardonnay-fueled walks through the woods can’t imagine.

Hillary’s “woe was me tour” goes on without end, as though she’s endured hardship and suffers the result. By contrast my own cousin died as a result of injuries sustained during combat action in Iraq almost a decade ago.

CHELSEA’S BEST
The best Chelsea then, as prospective candidate for future office or foil for her mom, can come up with is to spew predictable political invective against President Trump over Memorial Day? Really, take Chelsea’s commentary at face value and ask yourself: is there anything new here that anyone hasn’t heard since November 9, 2016?

Yet the jack-ass party wonders why they continue to lose everything they think they ought to win.

Image: CC By-SA 2.0; Excerpted from: https://www.flickr.com/photos/tom-margie/1534939895

Andrew Allen

Andrew Allen (@aandrewallen) grew up in the American southeast and for more than two decades has worked as an information technoloigies professional in various locations around the globe. A former far-left activist, Allen became a conservative in the late 1990s following a lengthy period spent questioning his own worldview. When not working IT-related issues or traveling, Andrew Allen spends his time discovering new ways to bring the pain by exposing the idiocy of liberals and their ideology.