What’s the hashtag for this going to be… ‘TreeToo’?
The same people who think public schools need to be teaching kids all the things about sex that straightlaced parents are too stodgy to teach them have themselves a new fetish.
Poplars, lock up your daughters. Or something like that.
A recently published academic article examines “exosexuals’ encounters with the natural environment.”
In a new academic piece published in the journal Feminist Theory, Professor Lauran Whitworth of St. Mary’s College of Maryland defines the increasingly popular term “ecosexual.”
1. A person that finds nature sensual, sexy. 2. A new sexual identity. 3: Person who takes the Earth as their lover,
Don’t worry, it gets worse.
Sprinkle describes her first encounter with redwood trees at Yosemite National Park: ‘I loved the scent of the trunk, like vanilla mixed with soil. I have a strong memory of coming across a redwood that had fallen over from a storm. I walked around off the trail and peeked at its freshly exposed roots. So soft, so sensuous, so sexy! I had to touch them.’
Pooping in the woods, for some, also qualifies as ‘ecosexual’.
I hate to break it to them, but they’ve even managed to get ‘taking a dump’ wrong.
They believe they’re somehow helping the world — saving the planet — if they pleasure themselves by a waterfall, or under a tree. And the cited article references a Santa Cruz prof who had been encouraging students to have ‘relations’ with nature.
Dammit people, what’s wrong with taking a simple walk in the freaking woods.
Why do you have to go and make it creepy?
By their standards, the twisted freaks who force themselves on unwitting animals must be practically heroic.
If that’s not a clue that your values need a reset, I don’t know what it would take.
by Doug Giles
Doug Giles, best-selling author of Raising Righteous And Rowdy Girls and Editor-In-Chief of the mega-blog, ClashDaily.com, has just penned a book he guarantees will kick hipster males into the rarefied air of masculinity. That is, if the man-child will put down his frappuccino; shut the hell up and listen and obey everything he instructs them to do in his timely and tornadic tome. Buy Now:The Effeminization Of The American Male