Michelle Officiates Wedding – No, This Isn’t Satire

Written by Wes Walker on September 24, 2018

What does the former First Lady do when she’s not ‘ashamed of America’ or hawking her latest book? Officiating weddings.

Yeah, we thought it was weird, too.

But here it is, as the saying goes, ‘large as life, and twice as ugly’.

On Sunday January 21, Remus and Holmgren said I do in front of their family, friends, and, oh yeah, Obama at District Winery in Washington, D.C., according to Washingtonian. We’ve heard of celebrities officiating weddings before (we’re looking at you Kris Jenner, Carly Rae Jepsen, and Anna Farris), but this presidential officiant certainly takes the [wedding] cake.
The newlyweds decided to ask their boss—Remus is the general counsel for the Obama Foundation and Obama’s personal office, while Holmgren is the former special assistant to the President and the senior director for intelligence programs on the National Security Council Staff—if he could spare some time from his retirement to take part in their big day.
Source: Brides

See for yourself:

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WHEN OBAMA IS THE OFFICIANT!!! I had the HONOR of working with an AMAZING family the last few months planning the details of their wedding officiated by close friend and boss President Barack Obama. GAAAHH!!!!! My favorite moments with POTUS 1) rehearsing before the ceremony, 2) pinning the boutonnierre on POTUS  3) the signing of the marriage certificate (insert really funny moment on 4th Street hahaha!!!) Below is the article from today's post on POLITICO.COM "WEEKEND WEDDING – OBAMA ALUMNI: Brett Holmgren, former special assistant to President Obama and senior director for intelligence programs, on Sunday afternoon married Dana Remus, former White House senior counsel. Holmgren is now VP for cybersecurity oversight at Capital One and Remus is general counsel for the Obama Foundation and Obama’s personal office. Pool report: “President Obama officiated and Rev. Oran Warmer of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Alexandria was the celebrant. Friends and family danced the evening away at District Winery in Navy Yards.” SPOTTED: Susan Rice, Ian Cameron, James Clapper, Anita Dunn and Bob Bauer, Lisa Monaco, Denis McDonough, Karin Hillstrom, Anita Decker Breckenridge, Russ Breckenridge, Eric Schultz, Emily Blakemore, Sean Crotty, Stuart Murphy, Nick McQuaid, Joe Paulsen, Samantha Tubman, Michael Bosworth, David Guggenheim, Jeff Zients, Mary Menell and Yohannes Abraham." THANK YOU to this freaking amazing team of partners! ???????????????? VENUE: @districtwinery GLAM SQUAD: @jkwbeauty PHOTOS: @danielletreal FLOWERS: @lovebloomsdc BAND: @dcfusionband STATIONERY: @bellajenna CAKE: @booshey_bites AV @brucepikeproductions PLANNER @pinkboxe with my be-muse @12in12design … and makeup for yours truly @shaunehayesmakeup ????2018 is off to an amazing start!!!!????

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Is anyone else wondering what we are wondering?

By what authority is she officiating this wedding?

She’s not a captain on a ship, so it isn’t anything like that.

Is it her Church? After 20 years, or however long, in Jeremiah Wright’s church, they paid so little attention to the sermon that they were shocked — SHOCKED! — to discover he was a flaming racist. Is she ordained through his church? Seems unlikely.

It isn’t even reasonable to assume that the wife of former President is suddenly bestowed with the ability to solemnize marriages.

Michelle isn’t a judge either State or Federal, the Cook County Circuit Clerk, or (as far as we are aware) a religious officiant.

According to Illinois law, that means that this marriage could be invalid.

Maybe somebody out there knows why celebrities are now conducting weddings because I’ve got no answers.

Rather than leave you with that mental image, here’s a palate cleanser for you: