You know it’s bad when shooting yourself in the testicles is NOT the lowest part of your day.
(Yes, the report used the plural, ‘testicles’. Good shooting there, cowboy.)
Think you’ve had a tough day? Your worst day has nothing on what this guys’ worst day looks like. Forget any ‘just say no’ campaigns. If you want to curb drug use, just tell this guy’s story.
Meet Cameron Jeffrey Wilson. He’s 27 years old and he has himself a drug problem. That led to a series of OTHER problems, each worse than the last, which you will see as his story unfolds.
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On April 5th, our genius tucked a loaded pistol into his pocket. And you can guess what happened next.
Boom! He punched a one-way ticket to eunuchs-ville, with the bullet eventually getting lodged in his thigh.
But he didn’t dare go directly to the hospital. Of course not. Because our zero has a record and is not supposed to be in the possession of a firearm. So his girlfriend drove him to a buddy’s house where he offloaded the pistol he shouldn’t have had in the first place.
On the operating table, things got worse.
No, the doctor didn’t make any mistakes. Nothing like that. Things went, uh, South, when a balloon slipped out of his backside. It was filled with pot.
The police checked his car and found Meth.
Chelan County sheriff’s detectives were notified that Wilson had suffered a gunshot wound and then responded to the hospital. They searched the car and found a bag of methamphetamine inside a pair of blood-stained jeans he’d taken off before entering the hospital.
Detectives declined to arrest Wilson at the hospital and instead issued an arrest warrant on suspicion of second-degree felon in possession of a firearm and unlawful possession of meth. He was charged April 16.
But wait… There’s MORE!
Of course. Why wouldn’t there be?
What happened next?
Wilson, an East Wenatchee resident, turned himself in April 18. A detective told corrections officers at the Chelan County Regional Justice Center of Wilson’s proclivity to store marijuana in unconventional places.
During a strip search, another balloon of marijuana slipped from Wilson’s anus, according to a probable cause affidavit filed April 19 in superior court.
He was arrested and then charged with possession of a controlled substance in a correctional facility, but his legal troubles would continue.
What the Hell? He turned himself in with balloons of drugs up his butt????
That’s a special kind of stupid. But he wasn’t done yet.
You’d almost expect Chevy Chase to turn up in a story this bent.
“Worse, how could it get any worse?”
Oh, it gets worse alright … guess what he did with his phone call?
From the jail, Wilson made multiple calls to his girlfriend asking her not to cooperate with investigators, according to a probable cause affidavit filed April 26 in superior court. Authorities listened to the calls and subsequently charged him with four counts of tampering with a witness.
All because he was dumb enough to shoot himself in the junk with a gun he had forfeited any right to own in the first place.
Don’t be like Wilson.
The Effeminization Of The American Male
by Doug Giles
Doug Giles, best-selling author of Raising Righteous And Rowdy Girls and Editor-In-Chief of the mega-blog, ClashDaily.com, has just penned a book he guarantees will kick hipster males into the rarefied air of masculinity. That is, if the man-child will put down his frappuccino; shut the hell up and listen and obey everything he instructs them to do in his timely and tornadic tome. Buy Now:The Effeminization Of The American Male
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