Teen Vogue Advises Young Women On Using “Sex Magic” To “Manifest Your Best Self” — No, This Isn’t Satire

Written by K. Walker on July 5, 2019

Did Teen Vogue become a satire publication when we weren’t looking?

In between the recommendations for the 11 most refreshing face mists, plant-based shoes, and Sofie Turner’s gorgeous wedding dress revealed, Teen Vogue also includes “woke” articles about what it’s like to date when you’re nonbinary, that Willow Smith is open to a polyamorous relationship, and Miley Cyrus partnered with Marc Jacob to create a hoodie that benefits Planned Parenthood.

That doesn’t even touch the pro-Marxist anti-capitalist articles like the one lauding anarchist Emma Goldman, or the anti-American stuff like having two historically illiterate teens discuss ditching the Constitution, and explaining how every patriotic American tune is actually racist.

Oh, yes. They’re lovely.

ClashDaily has covered Teen Vogue‘s nuttiness before.

Teen Vogue: ‘Can’t #endpoverty Without Ending Capitalism!’

WATCH: Teen Vogue Is Calling Biological Sex ‘BULLSH*T’

Teen Vogue Has An Article That’ll Make You Yell, ‘WTF?’ – Yes, It’s That Bad

Teen Vogue Advises 16-Year Old How To Get An Abortion WITHOUT Parental Consent And Bypass State Laws

Teen Vogue Is Now Promoting ‘Sex Work’ As Valid Profession

But this…

The wokescolds have gone all New Age — or maybe it’s full-on pagan.

What is it with leftists and the occult? They seem to have an unhealthy fascination with it.

Teen Vogue is now instructing young ladies on the “benefits” of something called sex magic. Yes, really.

The article is a part of their Practical Magic series which is written by their astrology “expert” Lisa Stardust — it’s unclear if there is any relation to Ziggy, but the possibility nevertheless remains.

The article begins by asserting that these practical magic techniques only work for believers, but can be used by anyone to get “in touch with yourself — magically or not.”

Let’s talk about sex, baby! Did you know that orgasms can help manifest desires and bring forth dreams? In magic, orgasms are considered to be the ultimate magical force. In fact, occultists believe that orgasms can help cleanse the body, produce magical power, and are a vital tool in manifesting desires.

“The alchemic process of creation is our birthright,” bruja, artist, and botanica owner, Taylor Cordova, says about sex magic.”Through sacred sex, we find a particularly ripe portal for making our wildest dreams come true and drawing our hearts desire into our energetic field.” This allows us to be at harmony with the world and ourselves, using our inner strength and power to shift the universe, allowing us to use mystical forces from within to attain our hopes.

Stardust then clarifies that this type of “magic” should not be used on other people because it would be wrong to “manipulate another’s will” besides, it can have “unpredictable results” and “practicing magic on others can work against you in the end.” So, these magical orgasm spells are just for solo sex.

She explains how channeling orgasms is a way to achieve a variety of personal goals “like catching a new love, healing your heart, getting a raise, or promotion at work.”

Stardust then enumerates several ways that this is done, but is (fortunately) scant on details.

Step 1: Visualization

First, you apparently need to get a clear picture of your goal while you “focus on self-pleasure” and then “channel all of the electric energy of the *ahem* climax into that visualization.

This will allow your energy to mystically connect with your intention and give it power, potentially enabling it to come true.

Step 2: Charge Your Sex Toys Under The Moon

It’s apparently important to incorporate “lunar vibrations” into the spell, and I don’t even want to know what that means.

Chakrubs makes crystal vibrators and yoni eggs that can help heal your aura and revive your energy.

Porous stones shouldn’t be in there. Ever. Experts agree. 

Step 3: Color magic

When crafting a spell, it’s important to keep check of the colors associated with each intention. For example, if you are trying to bring in more money, you may want to use the color green. Love will require a pink color, healing is the shade white, purple is used to enhance professional gains, and red is to increase passions.

This is apparently accomplished by wearing lingerie or a dressing robe in the appropriate color, or by using makeup or nail polish.

Step 4: Sigil Carving

Nothing says “I’M NOT CRAZY” like carving consonants into candles, eh?

Sigils are unique symbols, brought together by the practitioner to form a secret phrase. In order to carve a sigil, one must relax the mind and be in a quiet space to concentrate on inner desires. Then, with a piece of paper and pen, write “a clear and concise sentence explaining what you desire. Take out all the vowels and repeating consonants and with the remaining letters create a design as simple or as elaborate as you like.”

Stardust then suggests that you light the candle and “channel the energy” as you focus on the flame.

Sounds like there’s a lot of channeling going on there.

Step 5: Connect with Your Body, Mind, and Spirit with Yourself

A “professional witch” suggests this simple ritual.

“Start by writing out five things you love and appreciate about yourself and keep the list nearby. Take your regular shower and then draw yourself a bath. Take some honey, put some on your lips and say ‘I am the essence of love.’ Next put some honey on your heart and say, ‘I am love.’ Lastly put some honey on the center of your forehead and say ‘I love myself.’ Soak in the tub and read the list of things you love about yourself.”

Alternatively, you could omit the list, the honey, and affirmations and just take a bath. A nice, relaxing bath just might help with all those “psychic vampires” as well. 

There are also ways that celibate witches can use sex magic, by apparently “channeling” but not releasing the “energy” and having it build up.

If that’s the case, what the hell is the point of releasing it, then?

Sex magic can be an amazing way to start to implement goals and manifest dreams—all by concentrating and releasing one’s personal energy into the world.

Source: Teen Vogue

Remember, Social Media(D) censors conservative news sites for alleged “fake news” but not this craptastic Teen Vogue article.

Teen Vogue is trash, and is fit for nothing but lining birdcages and starting campfires.

It’s certainly not worthy of reading by any young ladies in your life.

ClashDaily.com’s, Editor-In-Chief, Doug Giles how-to book:

Raising Righteous & Rowdy Girls

In ‘Raising Righteous and Rowdy Girls’, Doug Giles reinforces the notion that little women don’t need to be pampered by their fathers to turn out right. And having met his beautiful daughters, I know his philosophy works. As a strong-willed woman who thinks her daddy is the greatest guy in the world, I can tell you this is a must-read for every man who hopes to earn the same title. —-S.E. Cupp Best Selling Author & Fox News Analyst

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ClashDaily's Associate Editor since August 2016. Self-described political junkie, anti-Third Wave Feminist, and a nightmare to the 'intersectional' crowd. Mrs. Walker has taken a stand against 'white privilege' education in public schools. She's also an amateur Playwright, former Drama teacher, and staunch defender of the Oxford comma. Follow her humble musings on Twitter: @TheMrsKnowItAll