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Joe Biden: Jokes And Quotes

“If we were in high school, I’d take him (President Trump) behind the gym and beat the hell out of him,” Gropin’ Joe Biden.

“Buy a shotgun. Buy a shotgun!” Joe Biden

“You’ve all seen over the last eight years what President Obama means to this country. He is the embodiment of honor, resolve, and character – one of the finest presidents we have ever had.” Joe Biden

Joe Biden wanted to punch President Trump but he couldn’t get his fist out of his… mouth.

Joe Biden has been wrong about every major foreign policy decision in the last 40 years, but Trump’s a bum?!

If Joe Biden becomes President, Obama will have his hand up Joe’s shirt, working his mouth.

Joe Biden claims to be a common man, the descendant of working stiffs. He learned well that hard work was for suckers, so he’s been in public office for 50 years.

Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. is a prophet. He once talked about FDR appearing on television before television was invented.

Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. is a fount of wisdom. He once said: “No one ever doubts that I mean what I say. The problem is I sometimes say all that I mean.”

“Foreign policy is like human relations, only people know less about each other.” The wit of Joe Biden

Joe Biden calls corruption a cancer, the essence of tyranny, serving as Vice President to the most corrupt President in American history. Joe would know!

“Most liberals think of civil liberties as their Achilles heel. It isn’t.” Joe Biden demonstrating the importance of clarity

“In Delaware, the largest growth in population is Indian-Americans moving from India. You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I’m not joking.” Joe Biden

“I know why we’re strong. I know why we have held together; I know why we are united: it’s because there’s always been a growing middle class.” Master fact blaster Joe Biden

“Just talk to me as a father – not what the Constitution says. What do you feel?” Poppa Joe Biden, defender of the rule of law

“You’re telling me we have to go spend money to keep from going bankrupt? The answer is yes, that’s what I’m telling you.” Joe Biden, master economist

“ . . . on complicated issues, I’m going to give them straight answers. And if it takes more than three minutes, I’m going to do it.” Joe Biden

“My recollection is – and I’d have to confirm this – but I don’t recall paying any money to go to law school.” Joe Biden

“I used to say to my late wife, ‘I have great faith in the American people.'” Joe Biden (No more?)

“Reality has a way of intruding.” Joe Biden

“You never make fun of anybody with a club foot or a withered arm, but it’s open season on anybody who stutters.” Yo Joe Biden!

“I don’t say very much I don’t really think through. I know that sounds inconsistent with Joe Biden.”

“Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be Vice President of the United States of America. Let’s get that straight. She’s a truly close personal friend.” Joe Biden, team player

“People everywhere in the world are hungry for economic opportunity. And it’s about a lot more than being able to make money.” Joe Biden

“There’s only one person in this race who will be there, who’s always been there for you, and that’s Hillary Clinton’s life story.” Joe Biden

Allan Erickson

Allan Erickson---Christian, husband, father, journalist, businessman, screenwriter, and author of The Cross & the Constitution in the Age of Incoherence, Tate Publishing, 2012.