(Washington D.C.) Dr. Anthony Fauci, during an interview with Whoopi Goldberg on The View, shocked evangelicals Wednesday morning when he said, “The Bible needed to be updated. In particular, St. Paul’s directives in Romans 16:16, 1 Corinthians 16:20, 2 Corinthians 13:12, and 1 Thessalonians 5:26 where Paul advises The Church to ‘Greet each other with a holy kiss.'” Fauci said, The Apostle Paul wasn’t “prescient enough”; he “was against social distancing” and didn’t “take into consideration the possibilities of future pandemics like COVID19”.
Fauci also had serious problems with Jesus’ example of laying hands on the sick, playing with children, mass gatherings in Temples and market places, and how he participated in large, “germ pit”, wedding feasts.
Interestingly enough, after the initial shock evangelicals showed on social media against Fauci, a large swath of Christendom, sided with Fauci over the scripture saying, “Tony makes sense” and “the Bible is so yesterday. We should listen to the experts.”
[Editor’s note: In case CNN’s “Media Watchdog” Brian Stelter or the folks at Snopes happen to read this — or have it read TO them — we should probably explain something in words small enough to understand. This is not real. It is a joke. We call it ‘satire’. Have an adult explain it to you.]
by Doug Giles
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