You know that nightmare people talk about, where they find themselves speaking in front of a crowd with no pants? This guy took that nightmare to a whole new level.
It wasn’t a private nightmare, either. Toobin’s coworkers had to suffer through watching a grown ‘professional’ man fondle himself.
CNN star legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin was suspended by one of his employers, The New Yorker, on Monday amid claims he was caught masturbating during a Zoom call with colleagues. While the prestigious magazine took action, another Toobin employer, CNN, instead issued a statement claiming he just wanted some time off.
“Jeff Toobin has asked for some time off while he deals with a personal issue, which we have granted,” a CNN spokesperson told multiple outlets after ignoring Fox News.
Vice initially reported on Monday that the magazine was investigating an incident where the legal pundit exposed himself to members of the New Yorker and WNYC radio staffs during a Zoom call last week.
“Jeffrey Toobin has been suspended while we investigate the matter,” a spokesperson for the New Yorker confirmed to Fox News.
Later in the day, Vice updated its story with the salacious detail that CNN’s top legal pundit was masturbating. But CNN’s story didn’t change. By 9 p.m. ET – hours after Vice changed its headline to, “New Yorker Suspends Jeffrey Toobin for Masturbating on Zoom Call,” CNN’s story had the same initial statement that the legal analyst simply needed to deal with a personal issue. –FoxNews
What did Toobin have to say for himself? Not much.
The New Yorker has suspended reporter Jeffrey Toobin for masturbating on a Zoom video chat between members of the New Yorker and WNYC radio last week. Toobin says he did not realize his video was on.
“I made an embarrassingly stupid mistake, believing I was off-camera. I apologize to my wife, family, friends and co-workers,” Toobin told Motherboard.
“I believed I was not visible on Zoom. I thought no one on the Zoom call could see me. I thought I had muted the Zoom video,” he added. —Vice
A move that idiotic deserves a good dragging on social media. And he got one.
Never *EVER* has this GIF been more relevant or more USEFUL#ZoomDick#SeinfeldStillRelevant
TY @OfficialJLD @JerrySeinfeld pic.twitter.com/AirFjZLkcf— JMC3 (@MaizinBlu) October 19, 2020
We’ll start with the more serious stuff, and get to the open mockery further down.
These are all the people that were on the Zoom call to see Toobin jacking it: pic.twitter.com/Nr2ZfBchQj
— ???♀️?Bunicula???♀️? (@BuniculaTv) October 20, 2020
Joe Biden sniffs little girls. Hunter films himself smoking crack. Toobin plays with his penis while on a business Zoom call. Anthony Weiner shares photos of his wiener. Bill Clinton is a known sex predator. And these sickos say @realdonaldtrump’s conduct is inappropriate! pic.twitter.com/hgoN5XTZ7K
— Dinesh D'Souza (@DineshDSouza) October 20, 2020
Jake Tapper is a ghoul. Here he is, once again, comment trolling; trying to save Jeffrey Toobin’s “honor” — yes his CNN colleague who masturbated on a Zoom call.
Yes, the same guy who slept with a colleague’s daughter and tried to force her to have an abortion.
This is CNN. https://t.co/nsybKCbwBs
— Ali ? #JoeBidenIsSick (@ali) October 20, 2020
And here’s the open mockery.
I would also have included the one that took the ramen-eating guy who ‘helped’ Fredo Cuomo know where it said that protests have to be peaceful (he pointed to the Constitution) that showed how to turn off the camera, but I can’t track it down.
Here’s a relevant spin on a meme that’s currently popular…
#ZoomDick
How it started How it's going pic.twitter.com/mShmgVmh5m— ACB, The Reboot (@MollyMiller951) October 20, 2020
male feminist gets caught masturbating on work zoom call after smearing kavanaugh as a pervert pic.twitter.com/eScxI605MN
— buRozma ?? (@PolitiKurd) October 20, 2020
Awkward…
This clip of Jeffrey Toobin takes on a whole new meaning after the #zoomdick incident. This is CNN. #dripdripdrip pic.twitter.com/Hpr7Q783Dw
— ?homas ?eans (@thomasjeans) October 20, 2020
jeffery toobin inviting his co workers to his zoom call: pic.twitter.com/judmYLUcKX
— ??????? (@MommyBigDick) October 20, 2020
I know I didn't, cuz damn. #ZoomDick pic.twitter.com/F2vJ4e6BU4
— Teacloc (@Teacloc) October 19, 2020
Haven’t seen this guy in awhile…
Funniest thing I’ve heard all week-“Zoom Dick.”#zoomdick #comedy pic.twitter.com/IZD4HzOEt6
— FEROCIOUS MARKET (@ferociousmarket) October 19, 2020
File this under ‘self-help’…
Maybe I should write a book on Zoom etiquette. #ZoomDick pic.twitter.com/9JWfmvT13d
— Seaside Trader (@csidetrader) October 19, 2020
The real kill shot, however was when his own employer became the delivery vehicle of his very public humiliation.
Oh, this game is going to distract the Internet for hours…
Replace the caption on every / any New Yorker cartoon with “Jeffery Toobin took his dick out on a Zoom call.”
#zoomdick pic.twitter.com/zIP8yDH8Jv— Andrea (@nonsequiteuse) October 20, 2020
This is a fun game. pic.twitter.com/BLHKnX6JZQ
— year of the ant (@mfcErickson) October 19, 2020
No, Garfield wasn’t supposed to be part of the game. (Still funny though. The Family Circus one was just creepy. We’re leaving it out. You’re welcome.)
— Ryan 'Follow @SecretBase' Simmons (@rysimmons) October 19, 2020
— Ryan 'Follow @SecretBase' Simmons (@rysimmons) October 19, 2020
okay, another pic.twitter.com/hMjxhuhhba
— Ryan 'Follow @SecretBase' Simmons (@rysimmons) October 19, 2020
Great guy you’ve got working for you there, New Yorker.
He’s doing wonders for your branding.
