WTF: Astonishing ‘Man Vs. Beast’ Poll Shows Just How ‘Beta’ Society Has Become

Written by Wes Walker on May 15, 2021

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Sure, the American ideal of the manly man isn’t what it used to be… but we can’t really be this far gone, can we?

One of the features driving the success of the internet is the ability for people to offer instant feedback. That’s part of the appeal of polls. Everybody gets their chance to weigh in.

One of the polls that made its rounds on the internet was one of those ‘which animal would win in a fight’ kind of questions.

Animals ranging in ferocity from elephants, hippos, crocodiles, bears, and various great cats all the ways down to honey badger, horse and goose were put in a list, with people asked to rank which animal would come out on top in a one-on-one contest. Unarmed humans were added to the list, and did not rank very high at all.

The poll ranked us higher than … the goose. Just the goose, nothing else on the list.

Here’s a look at how the matchups shook out overall. Americans pegged the Elephant as the toughest of the bunch. We expect Clashdaily’s Big Dawg, Doug Giles with his long experience of hunting Big Game might have his own thoughts on what’s wrong the order of this ranking. But for the purpose of this article, we’re watching where the humans rank.

But what does it say about how far gone we are if we rank only slightly above the goose?

That wasn’t the only question of the sort. A similar question asked how likely an unarmed human would be to come out on top in an encounter with anything from a slightly modified list of animals.

Here are those results.

But what if that unarmed human was one of our respondents themselves? We took a further selection of animals and asked Americans if they thought they could triumph in battle against them without weaponry.

The results show that Americans aren’t confident in their abilities. Most Americans are convinced they could beat a rat (72%), a house cat (69%) and a goose (61%) in a fight. Nevertheless, 17-24% still feel like they would lose in a struggle with such creatures, with the rest unsure.

The only other animal listed that Americans tend to think they could take is a medium-sized dog, although not even half (49%) are sure of this.

This confidence drops further with the dogs’ size: only 23% of Americans think they could beat a large dog in a fight, with 58% being sure they would lose. –YouGov

In case that chart is hard to read on your device, here is the breakdown.

72% of respondents believe they can beat a rat in a fight if they were unarmed.
69% believe they could beat a housecat.
61% believe they could beat a goose
49% believe they could beat a medium sized dog
30% believe they could beat an eagle
23% believe they could beat a large dog
17% believe they could beat a chimpanzee
15% believe they could beat a king cobra
14% believe they could beat a kangaroo

(I’d like to meet the guy who thinks he can beat a king cobra but not a kangaroo. I have questions.)

12% believe they could beat a wolf
9% believe they could beat a crocodile
8% believe they could beat a gorilla
8% believe they could beat an elephant
8% believe they could beat a lion
6% believe they could beat a grizzly bear

There’s a lot that can be said about this chart… like the 28% that don’t think they could beat a single rat in a fight or the 31% that doesn’t think they can beat a housecat or the 39% that doesn’t think they could take a goose.


FIGHTING FORM: Human Males Are Literally Built For Throwing Punches

The problem, obviously, isn’t a lack of physical strength, (housecat? really?) so much as the abject cowardice of getting scratched up or chewed on in the process of a serious scuffle.

That kind of pussification is NOT the moral example that has been established for us.

We have a much higher standard.

Check out ClashRadio for more wit and wisdom from ClashDaily’s Big Dawg. While you’re at it, here’s his latest book:

If Masculinity Is ‘Toxic’, Call Jesus Radioactive

Much of the Left loathes masculinity and they love to paint Jesus as a non-offensive bearded woman who endorses their agenda. This book blows that nonsense all to hell. From the stonking laptop of bestselling author, Doug Giles, comes a new book that focuses on Jesus’ overt masculine traits like no other books have heretofore. It’s informative, bold, hilarious, and scary. Giles has concluded, after many years of scouring the scripture that, If Masculinity Is ‘Toxic’, Call Jesus Radioactive.