Most people have that ‘one’ story about a New Year’s Eve party that did not go exactly the way they planned… but few would stack up against the one ruined by an unexpectedly horny marine mammal.
Traditionally, New Year’s Eve is celebrated with a little bubbly and a lot of fireworks. It’s the highlight of those ringing-in-the-new-year-around-the-world montages we see every year.
But residents of Scarborough missed out on their chance to participate in that tradition because of the antics of a walrus named ‘Thor’.
Welcome to Scarborough ‘Thor’ the Walrus. This is incredibly rare for the UK and never seen before locally. Please respect the cordons in place & keep noise to a minimum say British Divers Marine Life Rescue… pic.twitter.com/0w11Somu5s
— This is the Coast – Local Radio for the Coast (@ThisCoast) December 31, 2022
The would-be partyers had an unexpected change in plans because Thor picked exactly the wrong time to occupy the beach, and how shall we put this delicately, ‘play with his hammer’.
Just catching up on the ‘masturbating walrus cancels NYE fireworks’ story. pic.twitter.com/u1LxFWhYcp
— Rita Panahi (@RitaPanahi) January 2, 2023
In what has to be the greatest New Year’s Eve story we’ve ever seen, a town in the UK was forced to cancel its fireworks display because of the presence of a masturbating walrus.
…The Arctic walrus is named Thor, and is thought to be the same creature which had previously been spotted on the coast of Hampshire earlier in the month.
…Due to his surprise appearance, wildlife charity British Divers Marine Life Association advised Scarborough Council to cancel its planned fireworks display in order to avoid distressing the animal.
The council said it was ‘disappointed’ by the situation but said that Thor’s safety ‘took precedence’.
Only, the animal then took off after resting for a few days and swam into the sea before midnight – meaning that the town could have held its fireworks display after all. –Indy100
So, they didn’t have to scrub the fireworks show after all?
If nothing else, the locals have got a funny New Year’s Eve story that they’ll be telling for years to come.
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