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News Clash

Say WHAT? Severed Human Penis Recovered At Alabama Gas Station


Imagine the horror of the person who stumbled upon some poor guy’s severed wedding tackle!

Local news reported this horrific fact:

Multiple sources have confirmed to Lagniappe that a human penis was found at a gas station Monday morning on Navco Road near Interstate 10.
Law enforcement officials were called to the gas station at the corner of Navco Road and McVay Drive where a penis was found, according to multiple sources. A source said the penis was found in the station’s parking lot after 6 a.m.
— Laginappe

If you’re like most people, you are wondering how somebody might possibly come to misplace such an important piece of personal *ahem* equipment.

Out of respect for family members, for reasons that will soon be obvious, we will omit the name of the person involved.

The tragic fact is that the most likely explanation involves a horrific motorcycle accident.

A 29yo man lost control of his bike not far from I-10 at 6am on Monday morning. No other vehicle was involved in the actual crash, but the rider was thrown from his bike, and suffered massive injuries after being struck by four other vehicles.

One driver stopped to speak with police, and it is believed other drivers may have been unaware of the fact that they had struck a person.

The horror expressed in this tweet succinctly sums up the reaction of many.

The crash itself shut down the road for hours.


Wes Walker

Wes Walker is the author of "Blueprint For a Government that Doesn't Suck". He has been lighting up since its inception in July of 2012. Follow on twitter: @Republicanuck