Indeed, that rather shopworn maxim is a tad clichéd; it’s also inestimably clarifying. Technically, the value of any scrap of wisdom or information isn’t dependent on the channel conveying it — because imperfect people or events are not the ultimate source of either. God provides truth; every bit of it; in a variety of — often unpredictable — ways. Sometimes via means which wouldn’t be one’s “go-to” founts for life guidance.
[W]isdom call[s] out … understanding raise[s] her voice …On the heights overlooking the road, at the crossroads she takes her stand. Beside the gates to the city, at the entrances she cries out (Proverbs 8:1-3).
Elton John’s recent vocal contemplations upon aging and dying aren’t the only example of this principle being demonstrated through what might be termed “high-profile” persons.
Late last summer, for instance, Oscar-winning heavyweight Robert Deniro also held forth on growing older, admitting he had no choice but to “embrace” the process. Echoing the aforementioned British pop superstar, Deniro even floated graveside speculations: “I’m going to put on my gravestone, ‘I tried my best,’” and “Please forgive me for everything that I’ve done.”
In what has become almost a Hollywood cliché, the eighty-one-year-old father of seven (by four different women) indicated his commitment to his craft had often hobbled involvement with his children; that his quest for career kudos may not have altogether justified the cost to them.
Deniro’s concession reminds us: As long as someone’s blood is pumping and mind is operating there remains opportunity to get things right where needed. Good on him for, it seems, walking out that counsel. And doing it publicly where others can observe it … and, prayerfully, be inspired by it?
Ironic, isn’t it, that in our abortion-saturated age, the child/parent nexus persists in gobbling up lots of attention — including among celeb-types. Robert Deniro would be one of them … Matrix actor Carrie-Anne Moss another.
At a much earlier stage of her Tinsel Town trajectory, Moss adopted some drastic steps her more seasoned colleague self-confessedly did not. The fifty-seven-year-old Canadian divulged to The Independent her “career took a back seat” to rearing her three little ones following their births during the 2000s.”She did continue to work when her parenting duties allowed,” but her comments are unvarnished:
After The Matrix was such a big deal, I took a big, big break to have children and be with them. I remember being torn, having a little twinge … And I was holding my baby in my arms, and I remember thinking, “At the end of my life, will it matter to me that I have another movie on my résumé? Or will it matter to me that I held my baby?” And I instantly thought, no. It was just a no-brainer. And I’m so glad I did that. I’m so glad I don’t have that regret. … that was the greatest decision I ever made in my life.
Evidently, it’s difficult scrubbing that instinct — motherhood — from the core of most women. That conclusion is underscored by the contemporary upswell of ladies who, having shunned marriage and/or child-bearing through their most fertile years, reach ages thirty-five, forty, forty-five and realize with horror: “What have I done?”
Among four things “that are never satisfied”, “the barren womb” is listed number two by the Proverbs writer (30:15,16). Legions of twenty-first century women are living out this stinging reality. And with excruciating commonality their situation didn’t arrive happenstance. It was avoidable. They chose it.
Some — Carrie-Anne Moss among them — come around before it’s too late. They choose differently.
Perhaps more than ever in our jaded, fun-and-games-idolizing age, it’s refreshing to be reminded there are folks who still sacrificially cherish having kids in the context of a matrimonial relationship. Foo Fighters front man Dave Grohl affirmed this — albeit agonizingly — last September. Fans were stunned (“shock waves“) when news broke that the putative “good guy” husband, dad, family-man had fathered a daughter with a woman not his wife.
Arguably, people shouldn’t have been that gob-smacked by the revelation. Grohl, mind you, is a widely feted rock star (you know the lifestyle: lengthy stretches away from home, post-concert soirees, groupies, etc.?) But it’s his and his wife’s response to this …ahem… challenging situation that ought to seize the lion’s share of media space.
On the heels of the scandal, the fifty-six-year-old father of three daughters nixed what was supposed to be the band’s final 2024 concert appearance; and currently continues shelving touring plans.
While pledging to “be a loving and supportive parent” to his newborn, Grohl declared “I love my wife and my children, and I am doing everything I can to regain their trust and earn their forgiveness.”
A “source close to the couple” seconded,
Dave is regretful and ashamed of his actions. He knows he let his family down. He’s really working on his marriage to Jordyn and wants this to be a new chapter for them
So, the stadium-packing musician’s reaction implies everything linked to orgasm isn’t automatically a-okay? There are limits? Some fleeting pleasures ought to be avoided if it means sparing loved ones’ heartache?
Jordyn Blum — wed to Grohl since 2003 — appears to be telegraphing her own message about priorities.
“Jordyn planned to divorce Dave right after she found out,” said the source in March. … Ultimately, they want to keep their family intact. … “Jordyn wants to be strong for their kids … neither of them wants the family broken.”
Whoa. Marital and family commitment trumping crushed feelings? That attitude once would have been regarded rather conventional. In the “me-my-mine” era? It’s practically revolutionary.
We can spot a similarly laudable attitude — albeit applied to different circumstances — in the relationship of seventy-four-year-old Jay Leno and his spouse of nearly forty-five years, Mavis. Fox News’ Tracy Wright reports the former Tonight Show host “was granted a conservatorship over his wife last year due to her dementia diagnosis”; suddenly becoming not just her husband but her caregiver.
In what slams like a hammer blow against the modern ethos, Leno reflects,
That’s the challenge, isn’t it? When you have to feed someone and change them and carry them to the bathroom and do all that kind of stuff every day. … It’s a challenge. … I’m not just, “This person is attractive and sexy” and having sex with them and everything. … that’s really what defines a marriage. … that’s really what love is. That’s what you do. … … I’m glad I didn’t run off with some woman half my age or any of that silly nonsense. I would rather be with her than doing something else.
How many of Leno’s entertainment-industry peers must read that explanation and cringe guiltily? For that matter, how many “regular” folks flinch the same way?
Earlier this year in a London Times interview, microcomputer pioneer/whiz Bill Gates disclosed his 2021 divorce from Melinda to be the “mistake I regret the most”. He tags “foolish” his association with notorious sex offender Jeffrey Epstein (a link that’s said to have played a role in the dissolution of his twenty-seven-year union.)
Confirmed: “[T]he companion of fools shall be destroyed.” (Proverbs 13:20)
Finally … Gene Hackman. Anyone paying attention knows the effusively celebrated actor (aged ninety-five) and his wife passed away in February … under hideous circumstances.
Stirred by that loss, I tuned into a 2001 James Lipton interview of the French Connection star in which the subject is raised of the father’s abandonment of a then-teenage Hackman’s family. What follows is a full fifty seconds in which a clearly discomfited Hackman tries to keep it together. Finally, clearing his throat, he offers an embarrassed “Excuse me”. And then, chuckling self-consciously at the audience, he cracks, “It’s only been sixty-five years or so ….”.
“It’s not something that goes away easily, is it?” Lipton volunteers. “Ever?” The Academy Award-winner doesn’t specifically answer the question. He doesn’t need to.
Is it unexpected seeing the reputationaly brusque, no-nonsense Gene Hackman get emotionally wobbly at the memory of a heartache many decades behind him? For sure. Which drives home another of those enduring, hard-to-evade facts: Intact families … fathers! … matter. When they vanish? Undesirable consequences reliably follow.
These episodes don’t involve philosophers, theologians or professional intellectuals … just well-known individuals who verbally articulate or otherwise display undying verities. Unintentionally? Perhaps. Potently nonetheless. Their epiphanies pack a punch.
Because, however it’s delivered, all truth is God’s truth.
