By NJ Asencio
Clash Daily Guest Contributor
Ladies and gentlemen, let’s start off with a little honesty here: love, lust, and obsession are three different things. Here’s a clue:
- Love pulls out the chair, and opens doors.
- Obsession ties you to the chair, and breaks down the door.
- Lust breaks the chair, and picks the locks.
Got it? Good. So since Valentine’s Day is about LOVE, here are seven simple ground rules to make your Valentine’s Day a success!
Rule #1: If you aren’t serious about the guy/gal you are currently “dating,” DO NOT,under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, spend Valentine’s Day with them.
I cannot stress how important this is. Spending Valentine’s Day with someone you are physically, but not emotionally, involved with is not only shady, it’s going to send out the WAY wrong message. You can never tell what they might be thinking, since so many people lie about what they’re really looking for in a relationship. “Who, me? I’m not looking for anything serious. Just having fun? Yeah, I’m with you!” Fast forward a few months and that’s no longer the case. Clap your hands if this sounds familiar. Save yourself the grief; either celebrate at a “Single’s Only Valentine’s Day Bash” at your local bar and MEET (not bed) someone totally new, or go to the movies with your best single friend.
Rule #2: DO NOT, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, hook up with an ex. DO NOT.
Exes are exes for a REASON, people! Remember? Sure it’s tempting to reminisce about the “good times” and pretend to still have a significant other on the most romantic day of the year, but again, it’s going to muddy the waters and open a Pandora’s box of trouble. Remind yourself of why you two broke up, and don’t mince words. Write it down. See? He/she wasn’t that great after all. Go to the gym instead and get ready for summer – it’s only 4 months away!
Rule #3. If you have a significant other that you’d like to keep around, GET THEM A GIFT.
A GOOD ONE.
I am not kidding here; this is vital. LOVE IS VERB. It is not, as many would like to believe, a “feeling.” Gas is a feeling. So is loneliness. If you don’t like loneliness, then prove it with something tangible, something nice. Jewelry works well as does haberdashery, because it lasts; just like your love…RIGHT? Quality over quantity; get them something that you know they’d love, either because they’ve told a thousand times how much they’d love it, because they’ve emailed you pictures of it, or because they’ve posted pictures of it on their Face Book page or the refrigerator door. If you’re really stuck, ask their best friend. Use your imagination, but don’t get them lingerie – that’s something for YOU, not for them.
Rule #4. Make your dinner reservations TO-DAY.
Because you waited this long to do it, it’s gonna cost you, but you’re just gonna have to suck it up. If there’s a restaurant that you just MUST reserve, because it’s where you guys met or where you proposed, and they tell you that they’re “booked solid” when you call, then GO PERSONALLY TODAY and drop some cash on the maitre’d; I’m sure a table for two at 9 pm will miraculously pop up somewhere. Consider it a tax on tardiness and carry on; if the tip is extra-nice, they may even help you surprise your baby with the engagement ring (if that’s what you were going for).
Rule #5. Send flowers, preferably to their place of employment.
Their favorite, not yours. Fresh, not frozen. Something that will make them the envy of the office. You get the picture.
Rule #6. Order champagne with dinner.
Valentine’s Day is ‘Christmas Day’ for lovers; it’s not the time to cut corners. You want to solidify the commitment, you don’t want to make way for an ounce of doubt. After all, Valentine’s Day only happens once a year, and a year is a long time; no body knows what new hottie might try to turn your sweetheart’s head. Do everything you can this Valentine’s Day to leave a lasting impression on them, so that they remember why they chose you to begin with, and why they still let you stick around. This is where the jewelry/haberdashery comes in. It’s gonna be hard for them to forget you when every time they look down on their Raymond Weil, they’re reminded of you.
Rule #7. Never give up.
If your relationship is facing challenges, take this opportunity to reach out and make amends. A little kindness and effort goes a long way. Love is a rare and precious thing, and going through life with a partner makes the journey so much more special; don’t give up on that. If you have yet to find your other half, get gussied up and hit the town with your other single friends. Have fun, but don’t sleep around because you’re vulnerable. Take the time to weigh all of your options, because you’re worth it. And because love opens doors.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
NJ Asencio: Poli-Soci commentary from the perspective of an innocent bystander.
Ok, maybe not that “innocent”… and not quite “standing by,” but you get the picture.