JESUS, BACON, BASEBALL & CIGARETTES: Anti-Meat Morons Attack Baseball Team, WWJD?
Here’s a fresh case of anti-meat eating stupidity that’ll be hard to scrape off your shoe.
Check it out according to CNS News …
An anti-meat activist group is urging owners of a minor-league baseball team to “stop glorifying bacon” via its bacon-themed uniform, merchandise and “smell the change” slogan.
PCRM (Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine) has erected a billboard a mile from the Allentown Iron Pigs’ ballpark, comparing bacon to cigarettes and declaring: “Keep Kids Safe: Ban Bacon from Ballparks.”
The group has also sent letters to the Allentown Mayor Ed Pawlowski and the Pigs’ owners, Joseph Finley and Craig Stein. One letter calls for the mayor’s help “asking the Iron Pigs to stop glorifying bacon.”
It also evokes the cigarette analogy:
“The team would never pass out free cartons of cigarettes to the children of the LeHigh Valley, yet they are providing open access to bacon crumbles and turning a family-friendly event into a public health crisis.”
PCRM continued the cigarette theme in its letter to the team’s owners letter to the team’s owners:
“Consuming bacon and other processed meat products can be as deadly as smoking.”
“When you glorify bacon, you’re really glorifying cancer.”
The letter also rebukes the team for “making headlines and selling out bacon-themed hats, jerseys, and pants.”
So, the lunatics on the Left want us to ban bacon? Should we listen to these lovelies?
As I say in my latest book, Rise, Kill And Eat: A Theology of Hunting From Genesis to Revelation, “if one wants to look to someone superior and follow him or her as to what or what not to grub, then I think we should not look to anyone currently schlepping the third rock from the sun. I know for me and my casa, instead of eyeing a Hollywood harlot’s food choice or a spinach humping activist’s cuisine, we’re going to look to the Holiest of All and what he dined on for our life’s culinary glide path. Call us crazy.”
Which brings me to this inquiry: What did Jesus grub on when he donned an earth suit 2000 years ago? Boy, that sure would be interesting to find out, eh?
When it comes to talking about someone being superior in the purest/ultimate sense of the word, well … Jesus leaves us all in the dust, right? I mean, how can we compete with someone who’s perfect? Seeing that he never sinned in word or in deed, which includes what he ate and drank, I wonder what he banqueted on when he sat down at Denny’s way back in the day?
Did he order:
– Barbecued aubergine on lentil polenta patties with a black bean sauce?
– Or was it a Best in Class Tomato Tart?
– I know, it was Chinese tea eggs with a noodle salad. Dee-Lish!
– No, wait. It had to be the sassy and crunchy Red Lentil Kofte.
– Or possibly a baked globe artichoke with a Parmesan soufflé?
– Lord, forgive me for forgetting that it could’ve been a boutique falafel cupcake.
– Or, the rape oil crackers with orange, fennel and feta salad?
– What is wrong with me? More than likely, it was a garbanzo bean pita, lightly dusted with dried fawn tears, garnished with carefully selected miniature radishes gently cut to resemble a rose of Sharon in full bloom.
How can we ever know what he masticated upon?
Oh, wait. Maybe the Bible documented what he ate?
Let us now turn to the holy text to see, shall we?
Well, according to Mark 6:33-44 he ate fish.
And according Mark 14:12-18 during The Passover, a holy event, which entailed the slaughter of a lamb, not only did Jesus and the disciples kill that little bugger, they also grilled it and ate it.
And lastly, for the coup de grace, the end all to being able to use Jesus as an anti-meat-killing/eating hippie, I offer you Mark 7:14-15, 17-19:
Again Jesus called the crowd to him and said, “Listen to me, everyone, and understand this. Nothing outside a person can defile them by going into them. Rather, it is what comes out of a person that defiles them.” … After he had left the crowd and entered the house, his disciples asked him about this parable. “Are you so dull?” he asked. “Don’t you see that nothing that enters a person from the outside can defile them? For it doesn’t go into their heart but into their stomach, and then out of the body.” (In saying this, Jesus declared all foods clean.)
So, I guess the anti-bacon, anti-meat-eating dipthongs are wrong. At least they are according to The Son of God. Boom.
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