The Abortion Question: Who Really Has a Say?

Written by Suzanne Olden on November 6, 2013

I am so sick of hearing very liberal people, 99.9% of the time women, try and shut down an argument about abortion by saying no one but women get a say in the argument. That is the biggest load of crap going. People other than the woman are affected by her “choice” and they deserve a say, too.

I read a great comment on an article recently about one woman’s experience with abortion and Planned Parenthood. The commenter said: “I have a very liberal friend who often says, ‘Unless you adopt some of the babies you force women to have because you oppose abortion, shut the hell up. You don’t have a say.’ I wonder if, unless you are willing to sit beside a woman and tell her that ‘blob’ on the ultrasound is not human, then hold her hand while it is sucked out of her, then soothe her heart while she mourns, day after day, year after year, and tell her that it really was just a meaningless blob she had removed from herself, maybe you don’t have a say in the issue either.”

Let that sink in for a moment. Women don’t walk away from the abortionist’s office unaffected, no matter how many “abortion was the best thing I ever did” stories Planned Parenthood and pro-abortionists want to spew. If that was the case, support groups like The Abortion Survivors Network, Rachel’s Vineyard, Silent No More Awareness and many more wouldn’t be in existence. Women experience loss, grief, guilt, shame and depression over abortion. Denying that the baby they aborted was even human being is incredibly cruel. It robs them of the legitimacy of their feelings. It pushes them even deeper into depression. It is heartless.

I have a friend who gave me permission to share her experience, to shed light on exactly how wrong pro-aborts are on the “you have no say” line of crap. My friend, who shall be called Rachel for this article, had an abortion at the age of 18. She was looking forward to college and a bright future. She and her boyfriend were in love and planned a future. When she got pregnant, he told her he’d marry her and they’d make it work. He wanted the child, but societal pressure of “you have no say” drowned him out. It was his child, too. He should have had a say.

Rachel was afraid despite his support. Her parents had always told her that getting pregnant outside of marriage was unacceptable, so she was afraid to tell them. What she didn’t know then (but found out later) was that they would have been there for her and helped her with their first grandchild. They were crushed years later when they learned of what happened. It was their grandchild. They should have had a say.

Rachel was wracked with fear and denial for weeks. Finally, she couldn’t ignore it away and took a home test. Pregnant. Despite her boyfriend’s pleas to keep it, she followed her blind fear and off they went to a Planned Parenthood office.

The PP office never offered any option other than abortion. Adoption or having the child were never brought into the conversation. The child was referred to as a “blob of cells.” Rachel was days shy of being 12 weeks pregnant and in reality her child had a heartbeat, fully formed brain, fingers and toes with nails, a visible face, vocal cords, eyelids and ability to feel pain. Of course, they didn’t tell her any of this. Afterward she was given an hour to recover and was sent packing. No sympathy, empathy or even warmth. Who needs that? It was just a blob, right?

In the next few weeks she was wracked with guilt, but had to hide it. She and her boyfriend broke up. She said it was because she couldn’t stand that he acted like nothing had happened. She wanted to scream at him “Don’t you even care that we killed our CHILD???” She didn’t know he was mourning, too. Society wouldn’t allow him to show it, so they both internalized all the guilt, grief and shame. Years later Rachel had a child and finally understood the gravity of the horrible, if uninformed, decision she made. Despite not being given a true choice or enough information to make an informed decision, she blamed herself and suffered from depression. She considered suicide more than once.

Her child never had a say at all. If anyone should be able to say “NO, DON’T KILL ME! I WANT TO LIVE!!” it should be that little person. He or she isn’t a “blob of cells” but a separate being with its own DNA and identity. They physically can’t speak, so shouldn’t someone else have a say for them?

What about those who do want to adopt? Do you have any idea how hard it is to adopt an infant in the US? Do you have any idea how many parents who long for a child have to go overseas to find one? Why? Shouldn’t they have a say?

In any other area of law other people have a say. Courts can order mothers into the hospital for treatment if they are a danger to themselves or the child. Civil courts can make women stop medical treatments that might harm the child. Estate law protects the right of inheritance of the unborn. Criminal law will charge someone who causes the death of the unborn with homicide … unless they are an abortion provider.

Ask yourself this: What the hell is wrong with us that we have no problem with the wholesale genocide of our own children?

I am a woman, and I have a say. Despite the liberals rant to the contrary, so do you. Use it.

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Suzanne Reisig Olden is a Catholic Christian, Conservative, married mother of two, who loves God, family and country in that order. She lives northwest of Baltimore, in Carroll County, Maryland. She graduated from Villa Julie College/Stevenson University with a BS in Paralegal Studies and works as a paralegal for a franchise company, specializing in franchise law and intellectual property. Originally from Baltimore, and after many moves, she came home to raise her son and daughter, now high school and college aged, in her home state. Suzanne also writes for The Firebreathing Conservative website ( and hopes you'll come visit there as well for even more discussion of conservative issues.