Something horrible is happening on beaches and at poolsides all over the world. This tragedy MUST be stopped.
You’ve seen this before.
The bizarre fashion trend goes much further.
And it’s more disturbing than you could possibly imagine.
Honestly, we cannot decide which is the fugliest.
WARNING: The following images could possibly cause emotional distress to those with good taste.
We’ll start off gently.
With this photorealistic anatomy swimsuit:
And this one. Is that a dude? Yep, it’s not just the ladies fuglying things up. What bet did he lose?
And then there’s…. uh… this recycling fail. Are those CDs? (It certainly looks ‘seedy’…)
And this hot girl showing off her duckies:
This next one may actually give me night terrors:
The one-piece is no better:
In some parts of the world, women are concerned about the sun exposure that their face gets, so they protect their skin from UV rays with these stretchy facemasks.
(Is anyone going to tell them about sunblock creams?)
These people look like live-action Simpson’s characters:
And, yes, there is something called ‘too much skin’. Dental floss should never be used as a garment:
‘Nice fishbowls ya got there.‘ No. Just. No.
Even tophats can’t save this tragedy:
A leopard unitard. Well, it is indeed a ‘tard’, we’re not sure that ‘uni’ is the right prefix, though:
This one is a ‘Mankini’. That’s not what is meant by ‘manscaping’, bro! You’re doing it wrong. Very, very wrong.
This one is just rude. And imagine the tan lines!
Now, these things are so very, very wrong.
If you’re a dude and your bathing suit doesn’t stop at your waist, you need this book.
If you’re a chick and you think it’s cool to put on a Simpson’s yellow stretchy facemask, or use CDs as a bathing suit, you need this book.
And if the above photos didn’t make you retch, you might think about getting this book, too.
The Effeminization Of The American Male
by Doug Giles
Doug Giles, best-selling author of Raising Righteous And Rowdy Girls and Editor-In-Chief of the mega-blog, ClashDaily.com, has just penned a book he guarantees will kick hipster males into the rarefied air of masculinity. That is, if the man-child will put down his frappuccino; shut the hell up and listen and obey everything he instructs them to do in his timely and tornadic tome. Buy Now:The Effeminization Of The American Male