HILARIOUS: CNN Launched New Website … That Was A Mistake

CNN has so thoroughly beclowned and discredited themselves that even their most bobblehead viewers have tired of watching their shows. Something had to be done!

The very public series of scandals and firings undermining their tattered credibility probably aren’t helping their numbers any.

So CNN put together a plan to help stop the bleeding and recapture some viewers. They called it CNN Plus.

Remember when Chris Wallace made that (melo)dramatic exit from Fox, only to be disappointed because the guy who talked him into it left the company in disgrace? POOR BABY: Chris Wallace Jumped To CNN For Zucker … Now He Regrets It!

He hinted that CNN was going to be launching an amazing new product that he was proud to be part of.

So, were his business instincts any better than his political ones?

Here’s how CNN described its shiny new product which was set to launch on March 29, 2022. (Keep that date in your mind. It will become important later in the story.

CNN’s goal is to establish closer relationships with news consumers — the same way Netflix (NFLX) and HBO Max have done in entertainment.
It has hired hundreds of people and developed dozens of shows for this new platform. Analysts say it is the most ambitious streaming news venture to date in the United States.
“We are going to be the only global video-driven news subscription business,” CNN chief digital officer and head of CNN+ Andrew Morse said in an interview.
The big three broadcast news divisions — ABC, NBC and CBS — have streaming channels that are free and ad-supported, but have far less content. MSNBC repurposes some of its programs on NBCUniversal’s subscription service, Peacock, while Fox News sells a streamer that focuses on entertainment and right-wing talk, not news.
CNN+ is distinct from all of those. Still, the service faces headwinds, including looming management changes and outside skepticism about the service’s prospects. — CNN Business

CNN’s regular website gave a more direct pitch:

Why should I sign up for CNN+?

Because it combines live news coverage, a library of on-demand programming and interactive interviews into a new subscription streaming service, available on a wide variety of devices. If you like CNN, you’ll love CNN+.

How much does CNN+ cost?

The product costs $5.99 a month or $59.99 a year. — CNN

In prepping for the launch they hired hundreds of people and developed dozens of shows.

Mitt Romney, for example has already made an appearance in which he showed the world that still he hates Trump enough to lie about him. So, business as usual for the guy Trump once rejected for a cabinet position:

And they wonder whether we’re going to return to the– if you will– the policies that we’ve had for the last 70 years, or whether we’re instead going to take the turn that Donald Trump represented. If he were to come back as the US President, I think it would represent a pretty dramatic departure for the world, and they would rethink whether they can count on the United States to– [MUSIC PLAYING] Well, I think what’s happened in NATO is that they have said, can we rely on the US? And is this America First idea, which is the president saying to everybody, hey, go off and do your own thing. I think that approach is one that frightens other members of NATO, and they wonder are we committed to NATO, and to our mutual defense, or are we all going to go off on our own? And so they wonder. – Are they ever going to get over that, do you think? – Well, they wonder whether we’re going to return to the– if you will– the policies that we’ve had for the last 70 years, or whether we’re instead going to take the turn that Donald Trump represented. If he were to come back as the US President I think it would represent a pretty dramatic departure for the world, and they would rethink whether they can count on the United States to lead NATO, and to lead other nations as they push back against China and against Russia. — Yahoo

So is it too early to tell how their big gamble is doing?

Not at all We’ve already got some strong indicators of just how well it’s doing.

Hat tip to Siraj Hashmi for finding these two tweets and putting them side by side. His trolling was perfectly executed, including the little flourish he included to really rub their face in it.

Here’s CNN Plus making the big announcement on March 29th…

And the very next day…

Breaking: @CNNplus employees bracing for layoffs possibly as soon as May amid projections of lackluster sales of new streaming channel; CNN employees say new streaming channel could be merged into larger @discoveryplus as early as May unless subscriptions pick up 130 @FoxBusiness

— Charles Gasparino (@CGasparino) March 30, 2022

Layoffs huh?

Do you think maybe year after year of rabid partisanship taking priority over delivering any actual, you know, NEWS might have something to do with it?

Well, it looks like you’ll have plenty of time to reflect on that won’t you?

Now if we can get ourselves an opt-out option for CNN on our cable packages so we can starve the network of the money we’ve been shoveling at them and finally take that toxic nightmare off life support for good.

But a spectacular public failure like this one? It’s a good start.

Psalms of War: Prayers That Literally Kick Ass is a collection, from the book of Psalms, regarding how David rolled in prayer. I bet you haven’t heard these read, prayed, or sung in church against our formidable enemies — and therein lies the Church’s problem. We’re not using the spiritual weapons God gave us to waylay the powers of darkness. It might be time to dust them off and offer ‘em up if you’re truly concerned about the state of Christ’s Church and of our nation.

Also included in this book, Psalms of War, are reproductions of the author’s original art from his Biblical Badass Series of oil paintings.

This is a great gift for the prayer warriors. Real. Raw. Relevant.