Via Jen Thorn at The Time-Warp Wife:
A couple can be as prepared and well-matched as possible and still find themselves poisoning the very marriage they want to invest in. Over the years I have observed 5 toxic habits that poison marriages.
These toxins are common, easy to come by, and do more damage than many think.
Nagging
Sometimes nagging can occur through sarcastic words (something I am guilty of). “Your dirty socks aren’t going to walk themselves to the hamper”, or “The lawn is looking good if you are going for the prairie look.”
The Bible has a hard word to say to naggers, especially women (maybe because we are more prone to nagging).
Complaining
Within marriage, complaining often amounts to little more than the venting of our selfish and ungodly feelings. Too often have I complained in front of my husband without any thought as to what effect my words will have on him. Complaining may let you blow off some steam, but it easily burns those around you.
Selfishness
Selfishness comes from pride (as with most sins). When we are selfish we are thinking much too highly of ourselves and much too lowly of everyone else. Selfishness within marriage shows that we think we are much more important than our spouse, but isn’t this the opposite of what God calls us to do?
Anger
Anger within marriage is dangerous because usually when you are mad at someone you don’t want to spend a lot of time with them. Unresolved anger can lead to two people distancing themselves from each other, bitterness to take root and love to grow cold.
Keeping Score
One of the main problems of keeping score is that it is a kind of unforgiveness and the poison of unforgiveness continually digs up the past, never letting bygones be bygones. Isn’t this the opposite of what Christ has done for us? He never throws past sins back in our faces. Our sins were put to rest at the cross and we are to extend such forgiveness to others. If left unchecked scorekeeping will bring about bitterness and misery.
Marriage is the union of two sinners who bring into the marriage quite a bit of toxins. It is easy to point the finger at the other person, but we need to spend more time weeding out our own toxic habits and the best way to to do this is to live at the foot of the cross.
– See more at: timewarpwife.com
