Visibly Distressed Obama Asks Daughters for Help Fixing HealthCare.Gov

Written by Patrick Kane on October 30, 2013

Washington D.C.– After spending over five hundred million dollars on the failed and broken HealthCare.Gov, a visibly distressed President Obama was seen asking his teenage daughters Sasha and Malia for help fixing the website.

Both of the President’s daughters are reported as having passed one semester’s worth of web design at the prestigious Sidwell Friends school in Washington D.C., making them the second most qualified people to work on the website thus far.

While many are skeptical as to whether the President’s barely pubescent daughters are up to the task of managing a website which will store American’s personal medical information, sources confirm they are not as unqualified as they may seem.

Malia Obama has reportedly successfully jailbroken her iPod Touch, allowing her to change both the font and icons on her iPhone 5. In addition to this, Sasha Obama was able to fix her fathers computer by turning it off and back on.

While neither girl was able to do anything to fix the website, they were each paid 750,000 dollars in consulting fees.

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The preceding was satire.

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Patrick Kane is a political activist based out of Boulder Colorado. He is currently employed by several of Colorado's preeminent think tanks and has worked in the liberty movement since he was fourteen. An aspiring writer, Patrick currently writes for Girls Just Want To Have Guns and Complete Colorado Page Two.