We the Whiny Liberal Wussies of these sassy States,
In order to form a more fussy Union,
Establish Justin Bieber,
Ensure domestic timidity,
Provide for a compromised defense,
Promote a continual Welfare State,
And secure diminishing Liberty for ourselves and our Posterity,
do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of Wussification.
Article I – All cultural powers herein granted shall be vested in the most offended amongst us which shall consist of a Senate, whatever that is, and a House of Representatives made up of the man-hating bitches of The View.
Article II – The executive power shall be vested in a President of the United States of Wussification. He shall hold his Office as long as he doesn’t become a Miss-All-That and a bag of potato chips, and, together with the Vice President, chosen primarily because he’s cute, shall herein govern our fabulous collective.
Article III – The judicial power of the United States shall be vested in one Supreme Court, comprised of The E! Channel’s Fashion Police and Kanye West, and in such inferior Courts as Kanye may from time to time ordain and establish according to his penchants. The judges, both of the supreme and inferior Courts, shall hold their Offices as long as they never listen to that asshat, Doug Giles.
Article IV – Full Faith and Credit shall be given in each State to the National Endowment of the Arts, EMI Records, and the more trendy Proceedings of every other State. And the Congress may by general Laws and stuff prescribe the Manner in which such thingies shall be proved, and the Effect thereof.
Article V – The Congress, whenever two thirds of both Houses think it’s like important and all, shall propose Amendments to this Constitution, just as long as it doesn’t ruin every trendy thing that we created.
Article VI – All Debts contracted and Engagements entered into, before the Adoption of this Constitution, shall not be valid against the United States of Wussification because that hurts our fragile Constitution, and should be deemed judgmental and not applicable because it’s just so gross.
Article VII – The Ratification of the Conventions of these various States of Wussification shall be good enough for the Establishment of this Constitution between the States so ratifying the Same. So … Enjoy.
* The preceding was taken from Doug Giles’ most amazing, ass-kickin’, best-selling book, The Effeminization Of The American Male. It’s a great Christmas gift for your twentysomethings.
ClashDaily.com’s, Editor-In-Chief, Doug Giles addresses our nation’s abysmal wussification in his NEW book …
The Effeminization Of The American Male
by Doug Giles
Doug Giles, best-selling author of Raising Righteous And Rowdy Girls and Editor-In-Chief of the mega-blog, ClashDaily.com, has just penned a book he guarantees will kick hipster males into the rarefied air of masculinity.
That is, if the man-child will put down his frappuccino; shut the hell up and listen and obey everything he instructs them to do in his timely and tornadic tome.
In The Effeminization Of The American Male, Giles takes ‘Crispin’ from the unaccomplished, prissy and dank corridors of ‘Wussville’ up the steep, treacherous and unforgiving trail that leads to ‘Mantown.’
“Secretly, everybody’s getting tired of political correctness, kissing up. That’s the kiss-ass generation we’re in right now. We’re really in a p*ssy generation.” – Clint Eastwood
This is definitely one of the most politically incorrect books to ever hit the market.
It will most certainly offend the entitled whiners, but it will also be a breath of fresh air to young males who wish to be men versus hipster dandies.