To a friend who’s been in a cave for nine years:
O.K., The D.N.C. was controlled by Debbie Wazzername-Schultz for a time, during which she failed to scale back the staff during non-election periods. She kept the full staff when they should have gone back to drug dealing, peddling porn or procuring new faces for Weinstein. Whatever those drones do in the off season. This drained the D.N.C. coffers.
During the close of her tenure (a scandal had developed on her watch …I forget which one at the moment … there were so many) so she decamped and Donna Brazille took the reins. Somewhere during the transition, the Clinton’s loaned a large sum of cash to the D.N.C. in exchange for (get ready because you may not believe this…) … control. (See … I knew you’d find it hard to believe.)
The Clinton’s, who were completely incapable of abusing their power, hired a law firm (probably have difficulty with that fact also) to hire a British spy to go to Russia to cook up a dossier on the connection between President Trump and the Ruskies. The spy did some dubious research there. Probably spoke to a lot of Boris and Natasha types and created a “Dossier” on our Prez. It included weird stuff … like, for instance. how the soon to be Prez of the United States of America hired several prostitutes to join him in his suite, where Obama (remember him?) had also spent a night, and had the hooker’s urinate on the bed the Obama’s had slept in. (Gives a new twist to the old adage “Washington Slept Here,” doesn’t it?)
At any rate, the “Dossier” has been admittedly cooked up and is completely spurious. (Apparently, there are people who will tell the most ridiculous lies … for … (I know you’ll have a hard time with this revelation also …) … money!)!!!
Since you continuously fail to keep abreast of these hilarious current events, I suggest you do the next best thing. Just keep following my cartoons. They will keep you current with all the recent scandals. Provide abbreviated insightful analysis … and give you inescapable and irrefutable conclusions with which to intellectually bludgeon your liberal pals, if you (unlike me) still have any.