‘Don’t Be Silly, My Drag Queen Son Can Return to Iran Any Time He Likes!’

The following is satire

Dear Sirs,

On behalf of the entire Najjar family, I demand, dear sirs, that you suspend your critical chatter about the “situation” with our 22-year-old son, Majid.

Wh…? What? What dare say you, my good man?  What…? You dare say, my dear chap, that my flamboyantly gay son, who merely claims to have barely escaped our humble Iran “with his life” and now makes a living as a professional drag queen dancer in Lower East Manhattan is afraid to come back and pay his ol’ ma’ and pa’ a visit?  Preposterous!

…What was that..?  You say he can’t come back – in due haste or at his leisure – to our quaint conservative suburb of Uz Kala because he will be summarily executed?  O, rubbish!  Rubbish, I say!

Why, I have nothing but complete adoration for my drag queen son.  In fact, the whole Najjar family has nothing but love for him.  Indeed, good sirs, the whole neighborhood longs to see the little boy they once knew all grown up, visiting us from his home in Greenwich Village after forging a career prancing around Manhattan’s gay nightclub stages, festooned in mascara, rouge, wigs, leather, feathers, spiked heels and smoldering candle wax … Why then, pray tell, would we not wish to see the little tyke?  He is after all still our little boy, our little Majid.  And to say he’s “terrified” to come back and see us is indeed a shameful mischaracterization of the highest order, sirs! Why, just look below at how his old playmates long to see him again …

 
‘Tis an age-old, heart-warming story: Boy Has Dreams of Striking It Big. Parents Are A Bit Skeptical. Boy Esca…Leaves Home in the Middle of the Night in Frenzied Panic to Become a Star. Years Pass With No Word. Then Boy Triumphantly Returns to His Home Village a Proud, Rich, Successful Dancing Homosexual Transvestite from New York City.

Certainly, dear chaps, cannot this timeless, tear-jerking scenario apply to the Najjar family, too?  I can tell you suspect not, sirs.  However you are most foolhardy – folly, I say!  We are all awaiting his return to Iran with open arms.  Anytime our little Majid is ready to come see us, we’ ll be here … also ready.